beer_good_foamy: (Default)
[personal profile] beer_good_foamy
First of all, "Total Perspective Vortex" was nominated at the Willowy Goodness Awards, along with a bunch of other very good fics. Thanks a lot!

Secondly, here’s a fic inspired by a discussion with [ profile] brutti_ma_buoni a little while ago, about how Faith would react to losing at various games like Rock-paper-scissors, Monopoly, etc.

Title: Five Games Faith Lost (And One She Won)
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse, at various points from season 3 to post-series
Rating: PG13
Word count: 6x100
Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Faith


"OK," Buffy whispered. "You take the vamp on the left, I'll get the one on the right."

Faith quickly peeked above the tombstone they were hiding behind. "Why do I gotta take the crusty one?"

Buffy held up her fist. Seeing Faith narrow her eyes, she added, "Uh... Rock, paper, scissors?"

"Oh. Right."

"One, two, three. Paper beats rock. You take the one on the left."

"Fuck that. How does paper beat rock?"

"Because... it just does. Let's go before - now what?"

Faith held Buffy's arm in an iron grip and raised her fist. "Best two out of three."


Willow’s eyes widened. "Faith? What are you doing?"

"Robbing the bank." Faith helped herself to a pile of Monopoly money.

"You can't! It's against the rules!"

"Says the girl with a hotel on Park. I'm broke, and I don't see a security guard."

"But… Buffy?"

Faith grinned. "Go ahead, B. Stop me."

"Sorry, Will," Buffy yawned. "Faith’s human. Not my jurisdiction."

Faith looked vaguely disappointed and rolled the dice. "...Crap."

"A-ha! See what happens? Go directly to jail, missy."

"Sell me that Get Out Of Jail Free card, Red?"

"Uh-uh. Rules are rules."

Buffy rolled the dice and moved on.


Stockton Penitentiary to LA is a long drive. "So what happens after?" Faith eventually asked.

Wesley kept staring at the oncoming headlights. "After...?"

"Say I help you get Angel back. Then what? Back to jail with no hope of parole?"

"I suppose the world can always use a Slayer."

"A Slayer. Gotcha." Faith thought about three years without a word. "How long does it take people to forgive? Ballpark figure?"

"Not my area of expertise, I'm afraid."

"Right." She was lost in thoughts when suddenly Wesley punched her in the arm. "OW. What the hell?"

"Punch buggy yellow."

Hide And Seek

Faith was parked at the back of the club, watching the others on the dance floor, when Spike came over with two bottles of Heineken. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with B."






"I was thinking 'bottle'. I would have accepted 'beer'." He handed her one of the bottles. "Figured after babysitting all those newbies, you could use a cold one."

"Oh. Thanks." Faith kept her eyes on Buffy on the dance floor and downed half the bottle in one swig.

Spike followed her gaze and nodded in sympathy. "You too, huh?"



Faith was never much of a bluffer, but luckily poker is all about making people lose their concentration. So when she lost her first hand Faith stood up, reached under her skirt, and tossed her panties at Buffy with her best Fuck-You grin before casually dealing the next hand.

The others just stared at her. "Um, Faith..." Vi finally said. "We're playing for matches."


"As in, this isn't strip poker?"

Well, that was awkward. "Sorry. Force of habit. B, can I have 'em back?"

"Have what back?"

Damnit. She'd really have to wipe that innocent smile off Buffy's face.


"OK," Dawn said as Faith started her turn of charades. "First word... very short. 'The'? 'It'? 'I'? 'I'm'? Yay! Second... Third word? OK. 'Me'? 'Dawn'? 'You'? 'Your'? Your! 'I'm Something Your.' Fourth word... 'Beside'? 'Bigger'? 'Boobs'?"

Faith shot a quick grin at Buffy, who was looking increasingly nervous, and then pulled at her earlobe.

"Sounds like..." Dawn frowned. "'Skin'? 'Burn'? 'Hurt'? 'Bleeding'... 'Blister'? 'Sister'! 'I'm Something Your Sister.' OK, second word..."

Faith barely had time to start miming hammering in a nail before Buffy blurted out, "Faith and I are dating!"

"Duh," Dawn said. "Like we didn't know."

Date: 2014-02-09 10:53 pm (UTC)
deird1: Faith in Buffy's body, in a bubble bath, with text "Please, do keep explaining how Fuffy isn't canon." (Fuffy)
From: [personal profile] deird1
You know, having seen the title and nothing else, I thought "Ooh! Buffy/Faith fic!" And I was right!

This was excellent. I loved how the titles referenced different games to the drabbles.

Date: 2014-02-10 01:16 am (UTC)
slaymesoftly: (Default)
From: [personal profile] slaymesoftly
LOL Those were all great fun! I think maybe the poker one is my fav....

Date: 2014-02-09 10:58 pm (UTC)
kikimay: (Buffy'smile)
From: [personal profile] kikimay
Hilarious and cute. Good job, I love it!

Date: 2014-02-10 07:44 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-02-10 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Nice one - love Faith's approach to mime...

Date: 2014-02-10 07:49 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-02-10 12:28 am (UTC)
frogfarm: And a thousand gay men wept. (faith S4 puppy)
From: [personal profile] frogfarm
Thank you for putting six smiles on my face. It was like a six-dimensional smile.

Date: 2014-02-10 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sounds positively Lovecraftian. :) Thanks!

Date: 2014-02-10 10:11 am (UTC)
shapinglight: (faith)
From: [personal profile] shapinglight

Can picture all these scenarios perfectly.

Date: 2014-02-10 04:39 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-02-13 06:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sorry. Force of habit.

Heh. I believe it. What a dame. Of course, her charades are fantastic. Legendary, even.

Date: 2014-02-14 09:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks! And that icon is perfect. :)

Date: 2014-12-31 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Damnit. She'd really have to wipe that innocent smile off Buffy's face.

*LOL* Thanks for your year-end wrap up post because I'd missed this little gem.

And I'm with Faith on the first game - I never understood rock paper scissors either. And when I was a kid paper covered rock (which can't have been that big of a rock) so maybe Buffy is playing the west-coast version?

Date: 2015-01-03 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you!

Over here, it's a paper bag, in which you can put the rock. Never understood how either covering or bagging the rock makes it any less of a rock.

Date: 2015-01-02 03:32 am (UTC)
auroramama: (Default)
From: [personal profile] auroramama
A pleasure to read aloud, too.

Date: 2015-01-03 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks a lot!
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