And this is why you shouldn't pirate e-books

[beer_good_foamy]

...or maybe this is why you definitely should. I dunno. But it's hilarious either way.

Friend is reading Harry Potter for the first time. He suddenly realizes he's read a fanfiction Order of the Phoenix instead of the real one.

Comments

[ffutures]

Good grief. I am SO pleased I never came across that version...

[beer_good_foamy]

But Hermione rides Harry when he's in griffin form!

[dragonyphoenix]

*laughs*

[frayadjacent]

This is so good. After a while I started to think that the person reading for the first time had to have been trolling their HP fan friend!

[beer_good_foamy]

Which is why the last one must have felt really good. :)

[elisi]

omg

this is AMAZING!

[beer_good_foamy]

"Yes in hindsight it's so clear." That's my motto for all of 2017 right there.

[elisi]

LOL

Accurate!!

[gillo]

I could barely stop giggling by a third of the way through. This is hilarious!

[beer_good_foamy]

Harry does a lot of running and gets really muscley!

Now I'm picturing some sort of mashup of the HP movies with Chariots of Fire.

[gillo]

Which immediately makes me think of Mr Bean playing the theme tune in the London Olympics opening ceremony. Scary.

Harry Potter and the Gym Club?

[rahirah]

OK, that's the second funniest thing I've seen all week!

[beer_good_foamy]

Now I'm curious, what's the first?

[rahirah]

lunabee34's more-than-slightly-tipsy dramatic rendition of the plot of LazuliKat's Spander "classic" Repossession. I wish we could have recorded it for posterity! :D

[shadowkat]

Okay, that is just...hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes.

What's puzzling is they couldn't figure out it was not the real version. Have they been living under a rock? I mean, it's not like there aren't films out...

And, why is it that adults feel the need to put explicit sex and rape in their fan-fiction versions of kids or teen books? Keeping the kids and teens...the same age. I noticed this with the Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Twilight...and weirdly Teletubbies (which is a kid's show). It's a bit creepy. Just saying.

[beer_good_foamy]

Have they been living under a rock?

I'm guessing they've simply not been interested in the franchise before.* But still, thinking there are outright sex scenes in an HP book seems ... unquestioning, to say the least.

* A Swedish songwriter recently wrote a song that contained the line "Kiss me like Hermine kissed Harry", which he meant as a reference to Hesse's Steppenwolf. He had to spend every interview on that tour explaining that he'd never read HP, he had never seen the movies, he had never heard of Hermione Granger, and he had absolutely no opinion of HP shipping wars. XD

And, why is it that adults feel the need to put explicit sex and rape in their fan-fiction versions of kids or teen books? Keeping the kids and teens...the same age.

Well, sex is a pretty big deal to most teenagers, so it makes sense that people would want to un-chasten stories where they think it seems unrealistically downplayed. On the other hand, yeah, a lot of times it comes across as pretty skeevy, especially if we're talking very young characters (I have no memory of how old the Hogwarts gang are in Order of the Phoenix, so...) But it's not like all original creators are completely innocent there either, just look at Stephen King's It...

[shadowkat]

Was there sex between the kids in IT? I saw the television miniseries, hadn't read the book.

I think they were around 15 in Order of the Phoenix, because he's around 17 or 18 in Deathly Hallows. Basically Sophmores in High School. There's two books after that one. Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows.

And no, most 15 year olds don't have sex. 18 maybe.

[beer_good_foamy]

Was there sex between the kids in IT? I saw the television miniseries, hadn't read the book.

Yes. And the less said about that scene, the better.

Official UK sexual behaviour stats. Average age 16 for first sexual intercourse. Not that that means everyone should be writing explicit sex between 16-year-olds, obviously. But that's a different topic, really.

[shadowkat]

Hmmm...well this explains why it wasn't in the televised adaptation of the novel, "IT", curious to see if it will be in the film version.

Average age 16 for first sexual intercourse.

Sigh, it could be worse and be 14.

Although I've become rather skeptical about the reliability of statistics over the years. Very easy to manipulate to prove a point. (Know too many people who took statistics and work with them for a living.)

I honestly don't think teen sex is as prevalent as our news media and cultural media wants us to believe. But I also think, as a culture, we have an insane obsession with the topic. Due in part to either repressing it, or judging it, or categorizing it.

I keep wanting to tell people, it's just sex. Get over it. ;-)

[shadowkat]

I say all this knowing full well that I've been on a bit of an erotica/explicit sex romance novel binge. ;-)