Ficlet: Early To Rise

[beer_good_foamy]

shapinglight asked for a Buffy/Spike drabble, and I thought I would combine that with one of the prompts at silentflux's 28 Days Later zombie ficathon. Except that idea didn't fit into 100 words, so I guess I still owe you that drabble. But here's a Spuffy zombie ficlet, anyway. It's pretty corny.

Title: Early To Rise
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Rating: PG13
Fandom/timeline: Buffyverse,
Word Count: 350
Characters: Buffy/Spike
Summary: Yes... it's a zombie apocalypse! Kind of.

Early To Rise

"Um... Spike?" Buffy peeked out through the curtains, careful to not let too much of the morning sun into the bedroom (and also, avoid a major Life of Brian moment for anyone outside since she wasn't really wearing much of anything). "The dead are rising."

From the bed, Spike gazed at her. "I know I am."

"Pervert. No, I mean there's a real, family-size zombie apocalypse outside."

"Really? Now?" Spike got out of bed and slid his arms around her, looking out at the moaning corpses staggering down the street. "Yeah, that's... more zombies than usual. Hey, where are you going?"

"Sorry. Gotta save the world." Buffy wriggled out of his grip and started looking for her clothes. "Have you seen my broadsword? I think I put it – hey! I need those!"

"Not yet, you don't." Spike hid the garment in question behind his back – at strategic height.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "This is all very sexy and everything and I'm really impressed by your panty-raid skills, but right now I think the zombie army that's about to have Cleveland for breakfast takes priority to your -"

Spike grinned. "I think it can wait. Listen to what they're saying."

Buffy listened to the lamentations of the living dead outside. "They're going 'brains, brains, brains.' Big surprise."

"No, listen. Use those Slayer senses of yours."

Graaaaaains. Graaaaains.

"Vegetarian zombies...?" Buffy groaned and shook her head in disbelief. "I hate the Midwest. There's something seriously freaky about this hellmouth."

"So I suppose you have to go slay them now, right? Save Old McDonald's tomatoes from a fate worse than death? The life of a champion, no rest for the - ooof."

"Ooof" is the sound a vampire makes when he's tackled backwards onto the bed by a Slayer who was just starting to get into slay mode and now has to work off her adrenaline in some other way. And so it came to be that while the dead rose, the (mostly) living stayed in bed for quite some time while the Department of Agriculture handled the biggest pest problem in years.

Comments

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Hee! Teeheehee! *snorfles* *falls down laughing*


...grains. Bwah!


And for some reason, I read "moaning corpses" as "morning corpses" - shrugs. I gotta learn to read good, man.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I tried to work in an "amber waves of brains" joke somewhere, but... *shrug*

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

That's hilarous. I love the narration at the end - cracks me up.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[gillo]

Adorable and hilarious in equal measure!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

[adriana-is.livejournal.com]

Well done you!!!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

"points to icon while toppling off chair"

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :-)

[2maggie2.livejournal.com]

Ooof: best definition ever.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm waiting for Webster's to call me any day now. :-)

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

Delightful. Naughty domestic Spike and Buffy. With zombies. Life is good.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Everything's good with zombies. Thanks!

[shapinglight]

Eeek! Haven't time to read now. Later?

And not complaining that it's not a drabble, even though I haven't read it yet.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

:-)

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

Priceless! :)))))))))))

panty-raid skills

Bwahaha!

[ladyjane]

I should think most vampires that have passed the century mark are quite adept at panty-raiding of one kind or another.

[riccadonna.livejournal.com]

I want one of these every morning!
You've put an unbelievable amount of favourite Buffy/Spike gags in this, and yet it's all so natural and smooth!
With zombies.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

[chosen0112.livejournal.com]

Hee!! Excellent, unexpected and hilarious. Loved it!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! (And I would have been very surprised if anyone had expected veggie zombies...) ;-)

[shapinglight]

Hee! I loved it! Spike being annoying and vegetarian zombies. It doesn't get better than that.

I hope your muse is back to stay.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! We'll see if I can bribe her.

[larabeckinsale.livejournal.com]

LOL :D That was so good! LOL

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

[ladyjane]

*snerk*
Who'da thunk it? Cleveland has a freakier Hellmouth than Sunnydale.

Delightfully bizarre!
btw, I'm still waiting for one-armed Dawny to make an appearance. ;D

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I'm still waiting for one-armed Dawny to make an appearance.

Oh god, I'd forgotten about that one. Hmmm...

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHA! Vegetarian zombies! You have the awesome power of springing the unexpected. Love it!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

[spygrrl76.livejournal.com]

This was hilarious! I loved it. Nice twist on the zombie scenario. LOL

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Bwaa-haa-haa!!

Seriously cute. And according to the media zombies are the new vampires...

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot! (Yeah, took 'em a few years to catch on, but...)

[henriettaholden.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha.
Re: corny. The zombies would love corn.
I think I'd be such an awesome vegetarian zombie

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

The zombies would love corn.

Maaaaaaaaaize. :-)

[deird1]

This is great!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[diachrony.livejournal.com]

"Delightful" seems an odd comment for a zombie story - but this is, absolutely!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[candleanfeather.livejournal.com]

You're a master at eccentric humour. You really excel at finding the more unexpected twists for your stories. Thanks for all the fun.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot! I do my best. :-)

[(Anonymous)]

OMG! Count Duckula Lives!

Does this mean Cordy's going to be reincarnated as Nursey?

Wonderful. I'm only sorry I've taken so long to comment. Did you listen to the Pete Seeger prog I sent you?

Thanks, as usual, for your wonderfully witty brain patterns,
Still under Willow & Tara's spell,
Ray Harley, Blairgowrie, Perthshire, Scotland.
kerkevik@btinternet.com

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks - both for the feedback and, yes, the Seeger programme (it's here (http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00k2nkx/Archive_on_4_Pete_Seeger_at_90/) if anyone else sees this). Brilliant round-up of a career, and the song at the end was almost as tear-jerking as it was at the inauguration...

[timeofchange.livejournal.com]

Hee! This ficlet is very droll.

Catching up on some 2009 fic I missed the first time around, I came across a rec for this frommoscow_watcher.

"Yeah, that's... more zombies than usual.

Love that line.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

"Yeah, that's... more zombies than usual.

Love that line.

You know, on a hellmouth, you can always assume that there are going to be some zombies. They really only become a problem when they go from "a certain amount" to "hordes."

Here from buffyversetop5

[yourlibrarian]

"Yeah, that's... more zombies than usual.

Heh, it's actually that line that tickled me the most. Slayer weather reports must be particularly interesting.

Re: Here from buffyversetop5

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

Slayer weather reports must be particularly interesting.

Raining blooooooood, from the lacerated sky... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sb-DTrMG4vs)... sorry, wrong Slayer. :-)