beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
So before I go offline for a bit, I thought I'd post this fic. It's an expansion of an old drabble that I always thought could use a "But then what?" to get a bit more into their characters.

Title: Nice Girls Don't Stay For Breakfast
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, s3
Pairing: Buffy/Faith
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~900
Summary: After the mess that was Homecoming and Slayerfest '98, Faith invites Buffy back to her motel for drinks. Fast forward a few hours and Buffy's emphatically NOT freaking out, just trying to figure out the best way to sneak out of a motel bed without waking Faith up.

It felt weird, being the sneak-outer in this situation and not the sneak-outee. Not that she'd had a lot of these situations, obviously. Should she leave a note, or... OK, in her experience, correct protocol involved losing your soul and killing people, so pretty much anything she did would be better than that. Besides, Faith probably didn't want Buffy to be here when she woke up anyway. )
beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
So I'm not on Tumblr but someone told me today is Fuffy Day, so I figured why not do something with this old plotbunny.

Title: Locked Out
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, s5, shortly after "No Place Like Home"
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Faith
Word count: ~1200
Notes: Written for Fuffy Day 2017. Assumes that Faith was 16 during s3 with all that that implies, I dare you to find canonical evidence I'm wrong.
Summary: Faith's turning 18 in jail, which is a good opportunity for the Council to get rid of her without having to break protocol. Unless Buffy finds time to get involved, in the midst of all the Dracula magical key sister hellgod mess.

You think you know. What you are, what's to come… you haven't even begun.

For a second, she felt the old rage stir again; she was stuck here and fucking Blondie could just walk out and go back to her life. )
beer_good_foamy: (Death)
It's the annual holiday fic! I felt kind of bad about last year's fic and how it anticipated some real-life events, so I went extra fluffy this time. Happy whatever, everyone!

Title: A Slayin' Song Tonight
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse (post-series)
Rating: PG13
Word count: 6x100
Characters: Ensemble
Summary: Five holiday decorations that can be used to slay vampires, and one vice versa. AKA the Scooby Holiday Meet-Up is about as peaceful as you'd expect.

In retrospect, renting a Cleveland hotel ballroom for the annual Scooby Holiday Meet-Up wasn't the best idea. But Buffy's tiny apartment wouldn't hold them all, and the hotel promised food, drinks and holiday paraphernalia at a very decent price (as thanks for clearing up that haunting three weeks earlier).

The vampire gang who (somewhat unwisely) cut the power and crashed the party without needing an invitation presumably weren't part of the service.

"Just once," Buffy muttered as she pulled a Christmas stocking over one vampire's face and staked another, "I'd like one holiday to go according to plan."

* * *

"Um… little help?" Dawn managed to get out as she bounced up and down on the back of the largest vampire. She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking when she tried to choke him with a holiday wreath; pine needles really weren't sharp enough to sever a vampire neck, and now he was trying to throw her off and she hated horsey rides and the eggnog she'd had wasn't helping, and -

When Spike dusted the vamp she tried for a graceful landing, but inertia disagreed and she crashed through the tree, sending angels, candy canes and baubles flying everywhere. "...Ow."

* * *

"OW! Sonofabitch!" Stepping on a bauble is painful even if you're a soulless denizen of the night. One vampire hopped around the room, knocking over the buffet table while trying to pull shards of glass out of his foot, then decided to take his rage out on the old man. "Any last words, grandpa?"

"Merry Christmas?" Giles handed him the gift Buffy had given him. "I suppose as my nemesis, this belongs to you."

The vampire ripped off the wrapping paper, took one look at the knitted sweater with reindeer motif, screamed and dusted.

Giles nodded. "I thought as much."

* * *

"Thanks, Will." Xander brushed off the ashes from the vampire that had been seconds away from a double shot of AB Harris Positive. "Also, huh. I never knew menorahs hurt vampires, but I guess...?"

Willow winced as she carefully checked the abruptly extinguished menorah for vampire-ass-related damage. "May just have been regular vampire fire allergy. It's just... I know I'm not so much with the monotheism these days, and I use crosses to fend off vampires and that's probably some sorta cultural appropriation, but it still feels disrespectful, y'know?" She carefully put it back in the window. "Right. Any more?"

* * *

The last vampire had had enough; nobody had said anything about an army of professional demon hunters. Not wanting to leave empty-handed, he grabbed one of the presents and ran for the door. He almost made it, but then something sparkly flew over his head, slipped down over him and tightened around his legs. He fell face-first, and barely had time to register that someone had landed on his back before a stake pierced his heart.

"Nice one, Blue," Faith said as she holstered the stake.

Illyria dusted off her quickly improvised tinsel lasso. "One does not mess with Texas."

* * *

"Is that it?" Buffy surveyed the damage. "OK, our security deposit's a bust. Aw, the tree."

"Yeah, a vamp did that," Dawn quickly said.

"And one threw your gift on the fire," Giles added. "There's evil for you."

Faith wrenched the remains of the tree upright. "Angel, you wanna be on top?"

Angel ignored Spike's laugh and instead gave Buffy a boost so she could tie Mr Pointy to the top of the tree. A warm glow spread from the few candles that were still lit as the gang stood around with their arms around each other. "Happy holidays, everyone."
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
So, I always try to post a holiday-themed fic around this time, but I was seriously lacking in inspiration this year. Then I saw this things like this, and this, and what the hell, I opened the holiday booze a bit in advance and figured eh, let's see where this setup takes me. This is in no way a subtle fic, but I hope it works anyway. Happy whatever, everyone!

Title: The True Meaning of Whatever
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, post-series
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1500
Characters/Pairing: Ensemble. Nods to Spike/Buffy, Dawn/Vi
Warnings: Irreverence.
Summary: The new president wants the Slayers to deal with the fabled War On Christmas.

Too bloody right! About time somebody straightened you yanks out. You lot have lost touch with the true meaning of Christmas. )


Jun. 1st, 2015 09:04 pm
beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
For [ profile] open_on_sunday's Song Title challenge:

Avant Gardener
Title from "Avant Gardener" by Courtney Barnett

"Sunnydale Plants & Garden, Tim speaking, how may I help you?"


"Weeding? Sure, we've got tools for that."


"Our most popular pruning shears are 8 inches."


"Not really. We have hedge clippers, but – "


"Poison? You mean herbicides? Sure…"


"…That quickly? No."




"No, we do not carry flamethrowers. What on – "


"Um… sure. Thanks for calling."


Buffy hung up and turned to Giles. "Right, no help there. You're sure stakes won't work? Because - "

"Plants don't have hearts, Buffy."

They looked out at the triffids surrounding the Magic Box. "That's the last time I let Willow help Dawn with a science project."
beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
Guys, the Three-Sentence Ficathon is on again! I'm going to look through it and hunt for writable prompts tomorrow, but for now, there's this:

Continuing to exorcise some long-standing obscure crossover ideas, here's one I'm sure someone has already thought of, but I've never seen it: A crossover between Buffy and Zork. Yes, Zork, the original text adventure. See, children, once upon a time, before yer Gamecubes and yer Playstations and yer fancy 8-bit entertainment systems, video games consisted of a blinking cursor and words like "inventory", "e" and "xyzzy". And as we all know from watching Buffy, old monsters don't just go away.

They Are Likely To

"Empowering the potentials," the First Evil said to Buffy as the übervamps charged them. "Clever, but you forgot something. Vampires can see in the dark." It snapped its non-existent fingers, and every torch in the cave went out.

There was complete, impenetrable darkness.



When the lights came on again, every single übervamp was gone. The unharmed girls looked around, happy but a little disappointed.

"My übervamps!" The First Evil just stared. “W-what did you do? Some kind of spell?”

Buffy frowned. “That wasn’t us.”

“It’s obvious, guys,” Amanda said. “It was pitch black…?”

Far below, a grue burped.
beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
Here’s a crossover I’ve thought about for a while. This is post-series Buffy crossed with the Flaming Lips song "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Part 1" (lyrics). You don't need to be familiar with the song to read it, but it’s a pop song so you can binge the entirety of this canon in 3 ½ minutes.

Title: All In A Day's Work
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy/Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~850
Warnings/Notes: Poking fun at national stereotypes.
Characters/Pairing: Buffy, Xander, Yoshimi
Summary: To be fair, Buffy wasn't entirely sure how she was supposed to stop a giant robot about to attack Tokyo. But still, being told someone else would handle it felt a bit weird.

"What, you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
- Charles Bronson to Ingmar Bergman

I'm afraid we cannot guarantee the safety of non-union workers on this task. )
beer_good_foamy: (Willow-death)
Title: The Pieces That Prevailed
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, mid-season 7
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1200
Characters/Pairing: Willow, Xander, Giles, Buffy; nods to Willow/Tara and Willow/Jenny
Summary: As logic stands, you couldn’t meet yourself from the future. But logic broke and Willow bumped into her high school self.

She looked up and saw a flash of long, straight, dull reddish-brown hair disappear around the corner. )


Dec. 30th, 2014 11:13 pm
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
For [profile] open_on_sunday's "Episode title" challenge:

Some Assembly Required

“Do you want me to show you how to use it?” Xander asked.

Buffy looked at her birthday present. “Yes, I do.”

“Right,” he said, lifting up the brand new rocket launcher. “I’m pretty sure you flip this thing here and DUCK!”

“...Is everyone OK?” Buffy lifted part of the collapsed wall off them.

“I think so. Um, Giles? Was that an important wing of the library?”

“Let’s just say that on the off chance that anyone comes in here looking for school books, they will be disappointed.”

“Oh. Anyway, Buff, let me go steal an instruction manual as well…”
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
Right, here's this year's holiday fic. Would be a shame to break a tradition. Happy turn-of-darkness, everyone!

Title: Four First Dinners (And One Cancellation)
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse
Rating: PG13
Word count: 5x100
Characters: Anne, Willow/Tara, Darla/Angelus, Lindsey McDonald, Buffy/Immortal
Summary: Five times people had a Christmas dinner together for the first time. Though one of them didn’t quite work out as planned.

Dinner’s served )
beer_good_foamy: (Buffy)
Title: The Queen, The Soldier
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, beginning long, long pre-series
Characters/Pairings: Gen, OC-centred, but the gang shows up at the end
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~2400
Summary: Slayers always died young. Except for one, who did quite the opposite. This is her story. It begins like this: "Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a town. And in the town was a girl, who didn't want to die."
Written for [ profile] spook_me and the prompt "Giant".

In a gorge in the wilderness outside of town lived a giant. )
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
So here's a fic I found loitering half-finished on my hard drive. Reading [ profile] mcjulie's post on Hell's Bells some time ago, I realised there's a minor character in Buffy who gets a few intriguing lines, who openly flirts with one of the scoobies, and has, to the best of my knowledge, never had any fic written about him: that demon guy with the horns that Dawn talks to at Anya and Xander's wedding. Hell, even the script just mentions him as Demon Teen. So I started wondering, and... well, here's what came out.

ETA: There's now a spin-off fic for this one, by [ profile] dragonyphoenix: Extraneous Tomes

Title: The Brian Situation
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, post-season 6
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~950
Summary: Dawn has a date. Buffy has mom hair.

HORNS? Your date is a demon? )
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
Here's a different zombie fic bunny that grabbed me. I hope it works.

Title: Building Character
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, season 6
Rating: PG13
Word count: 1900
Summary: Written for [ profile] zombi_fic_ation and the prompt "50. Buffy + any -- Buffy mostly came back right... mostly". Five perspectives on Buffy, after she comes back from the (slightly more) dead.

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please

It needed to be quick, and Baron Samedi was very eager to help. Seems Willow has good credit with gods these days. )


Feb. 23rd, 2014 12:16 am
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
Two unconnected Buffyverse drabbles for [ profile] open_on_sunday's prompt "bottle":

Sense Memory ("A New Man", Giles/Ethan)

The satisfaction of watching Ethan get thrown into a car and driven off to God knows where carries Giles through the clean-up of his apartment after the demon's… his rampage. Up until he sits down with a bottle of single malt.

It's always tasted of home over here. Vaguely British, somehow. Tonight, though, the taste is more specific.

Smoke. Sweat.

Cold, damp student rooms.




The look on Ethan's face when he walked out. Not entirely unlike the one he caught through a rear window today.

He sweeps up the shattered bottle. It's alright. He has more scotch.

Needs More Robin Williams (s5)

"I knew we shouldn't have opened Giles' old wine bottle," Willow whimpered as the newly liberated jinni wrecked the Magic Box.

"Regrets later, OK, Will? Just find a spell to put him back in it."

"I'm trying! Ancient Arabic doesn't even write out vowels!" Willow shuffled frantically through a pile of parchments, trying various spells that did nothing but repeatedly open and close the front door.

Buffy held out the bottle. "Heeeere, Jinni-Jinni! …No? OK, hard way it is, then." She looked at the 7 foot jinni, then back at the bottle. "DAWN! Get me a funnel and a mallet!"

And a Doctor Who drabble for [ profile] brutti_ma_buoni's Ragnarökathon and the prompt "the song of the twilight of the gods".

Wir sind die Roboter (Ten, Martha)

Martha listened in disbelief. "…This is the song of the gods?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, not of the gods, mortal ears wouldn’t be able to stand their music. Dreadfully dull. But apparently, as human music goes, this is what they listen to."


"Oh, really. Gods tend to be big on order and perfection. No human fallibility and all that. They used to be into Bach, but apparently they really love Kraftwerk."

They listened for a few minutes as The Man Machine blasted across the heavens.

"Now, where were we? Oh! Right! End of the world. Let's stop it, eh?"
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
First of all, "Total Perspective Vortex" was nominated at the Willowy Goodness Awards, along with a bunch of other very good fics. Thanks a lot!

Secondly, here’s a fic inspired by a discussion with [ profile] brutti_ma_buoni a little while ago, about how Faith would react to losing at various games like Rock-paper-scissors, Monopoly, etc.

Title: Five Games Faith Lost (And One She Won)
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse, at various points from season 3 to post-series
Rating: PG13
Word count: 6x100
Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Faith

6 drabbles )
beer_good_foamy: (Death)
So here's this year's holiday fic.

Title: Spike: Mall Santa
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, post-series
Rating: PG13
Warnings/Notes: ***Jokes about character death.***
Word count: ~1500
Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Spike
Summary: Spike: Mall Santa.

'I can't take you anywhere,' Buffy grumbled as Spike helped her lug a few dozen bags and parcels down to the parking garage. )
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
Title: Telling Porkies
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, season 2
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~3,500
Characters/Pairings: Dawn, Mr Gordo (background Buffy/Angel)
Summary: A different angle on "Becoming". Buffy thinks she has problems with Angel turning evil? Well, boo hoo. Dawn has to deal with a possessed stuffed pig trying to raise an army to end the world.
Written for [ profile] letsgetitdone 2013.
Thanks to [ profile] angearia for the inspiration.

Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

Only little kids believed in monsters in the closet. And only really weird little kids believed in evil, demonic, fluffy pigs in the closet. Yup. Impossible. )
beer_good_foamy: (Wild as the wind)
So, yeah, I realised I've never written wingfic.

Title: I'll Always Opt To Fall Down These Stairs
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, post-series
Rating: PG13
Warnings/Notes: Mention of character death and damnation.
Word count: ~3300
Characters/Pairing: Buffy/Faith
Summary: One light Slayer and one dark, one good and one bad, one goes to heaven and one to... Well anyway, for all sorts of reasons, Detroit was just about the last place Buffy expected to run into Faith. With or without wings.
Written for The Chosen Two Archive's Fic Or Treat challenge.
I should probably point out that this story, despite some similarities, is not in continuity with my earlier story Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Anywhere).

Up there! Up there! Up there!
- Patti Smith

Really, I died? Gee, thanks for letting me know. )
beer_good_foamy: (Default)
Here's a very silly fic, inspired by a comment from [personal profile] rebcake in [personal profile] red_satin_doll's journal.

Title: Not In The Brochure
Author: Beer Good ([personal profile] beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy
Word count: 600
Pairing: Buffy/Spike... sort of
Summary: It's the end of "Chosen." Spike is burning up in the Hellmouth, and Buffy's holding on to his hand, unable to let him go without telling him... except Spike has something to tell her, too. And it concerns her mother.

I made a promise to your mum. About six years ago. )
beer_good_foamy: (Wild as the wind)
So here's the other 3 sentence fic I mentioned I wanted to expand upon. It ended up somewhat longer. This came out of [personal profile] passionfruit_kisses' prompt "Buffy/Faith, not even a proper Apocalypse".

Title: If The Dead Rise (Or Not)
Author: Beer Good [personal profile] beer_good_foamy
Fandom: Buffy, Post-"Chosen"
Pairing: Buffy/Faith
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~500
Warnings: References to character death
Summary: It seems the world's always ending. No matter how many times they stop it, they're just putting it off.

The first time was a couple of days after the battle of Sunnydale. )
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