Ficlet: The Brian Situation

[beer_good_foamy]

So here's a fic I found loitering half-finished on my hard drive. Reading mcjulie's post on Hell's Bells some time ago, I realised there's a minor character in Buffy who gets a few intriguing lines, who openly flirts with one of the scoobies, and has, to the best of my knowledge, never had any fic written about him: that demon guy with the horns that Dawn talks to at Anya and Xander's wedding. Hell, even the script just mentions him as Demon Teen. So I started wondering, and... well, here's what came out.

ETA: There's now a spin-off fic for this one, by dragonyphoenix: Extraneous Tomes

Title: The Brian Situation
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, post-season 6
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~950
Summary: Dawn has a date. Buffy has mom hair.

The Brian Situation

The sound of footsteps thundered down the stairs heading for the front door like, whatsitcalled, the cobbler effect? where a siren goes past you and changes pitch in the middle:

"...andIpromiseI'llbebackbytenOKgreatbye!"

Even Slayer senses aren't keen enough to pick up on a 16-year-old girl talking at top speed. Slayer reflexes, of course, are a different matter, as are big sister instincts that something is going on. Buffy quickly placed herself between Dawn and the front door, forcing her little sister to brake hard and somewhat awkwardly in her high heels. "Come again?"

Dawn hesitated and pulled at her skirt. "...I'll be back by ten?"

"Uh-huh, and before that?"

"Um… Fine." Dawn crossed her arms and pulled herself up to her full height, towering over Buffy. "I have a date."

"A- Oh." Okay, this was one of those handle-this-in-an-adult-but-not-stuffy-way things. Because, well, she had told her it was OK as long as they talked about it first, even if some part of her had hoped it would be, like, 10 years from now or something, but... Dawn was looking at her as if she expected a reaction so she had better come up with one. "OK, that's... Great! Do I know him? Is he in your class…?"

"Who said it's a him?" Dawn allowed Buffy about half a second of bad-parenting self-reproach before continuing. "Just kidding. No, but his name is Brian, we met at Xander and Anya's not-wedding and hung out a bit. He's about my age, and he's into some stuff I'm into, and we could just talk, you know? Plus he has the cutest little horns, and - "

Buffy's eyes immediately narrowed. "Horns?"

"...Crap."

"HORNS? Your date is a demon?"

Dawn held up her hands. "OK, Pot the Kettle Slayer. Yes, he is, but... Wait, who'd you think I'd meet at Xander's wedding? It's pretty much either demons or one of Xander's cousins, and don't tell me that'd be less squicky."

"Um..."

"Look, I know all the objections here. I mean, my big sister's the Slayer. My life is pretty much demons and vampires and witch... Uh, whichever 24/7. Which I'm OK with, really, but there’s so much in my life I can’t even bring up in casual conversation. But Brian already knows about all that stuff, so… Also,” she added, “I live in Sunnydale, so odds are I’d end up dating a demon anyway, and at least this way I know about it beforehand."

"You’ve really thought this through, huh." Buffy paused and nodded. "Brian the demon. Do you even know what kind of demon - "

Dawn sighed and rolled her eyes in a way that's only genetically possible between the ages of 13 and 17. "Fulgrash demon. Sotos codex, pages 421 through 429. Diurnal, vegetarian, except Brian's vegan which is pretty cool, mostly urbanized, no recorded human sacrifices or any other form of aggression since before 1813. Come on, Buffy, it's me. Besides, he knows you're the Slayer and he asked me out, and was totally nervous about it, oh, and his dad knows Clem, so how bad can he be?"

"You want me to answer that or just - “ Buffy paused long enough to realise that she was channeling Giles, and then shuddered. "Urgh. Whatever," she continued, briefly wondering if people still said 'whatever'. "So... Well, um... I mean..."

"Oh, for... Mom gave me The Talk when I was 13. A-and Tara last year." There was a brief hint of pain in Dawn's eyes, and Buffy almost asked about it before stopping herself. Tara had been in the ground for two months, grieving has to stop sometime. "It's just one date. We're going to have coffee, and talk, and catch a movie. And yes, I have protection." She opened her purse to show a bottle of holy water and a stake. "So, please?"

"You'll be back by ten?"

Dawn grinned. "I'll be back by ten. Promise."

"OK." Buffy moved out of the way but held on to her sister's shoulder for a few seconds. "But you know you can talk to me about anything, right? Whatever it is."

Dawn gave her a quick hug. "I know. Love ya."

"TEN!" Buffy yelled as the door slammed.

Alone in her house, Buffy relaxed a bit. That went reasonably well, she supposed. OK, feelings slightly hurt by the not being let in on until the last second, but... Dawn had spent most of the summer burying herself in research, and it was nice to see her excited about something. Besides, Buffy had to admit, her little sister was growing up fairly responsible and had earned some trust. I mean, just look at the thoroughness of her research methods, she thought as she casually strolled over to the bookcase and casually pulled down a volume completely at random that just happened to be the same one Dawn had mentioned had information on her not-boyfriend. By an extraordinary coincidence, it opened to page 421. Buffy casually wondered how Giles would react at Dawn making notes in his precious books, noting cross references, doodling around a couple of words, underlining and highlighting bits like "diurnal", "vegetarian", "non-violent", and -

- and come to think of it, Buffy had earned some time off herself. Treating herself to coffee and a movie sounded like a good idea. She did have this new trenchcoat and sunglasses she'd been meaning to try on. She'd just sit inconspicuously in a corner, watching the people. Couldn't hurt to keep up with what the kids were up to these days. Maybe underlining "anatomically compatible with Homo Sapiens" in books was just some new teenage fad.

Comments

[deird1]

I love Dawn researching the species!

[beer_good_foamy]

So did she, as it happens. :) Thanks!

[ruuger]

I loved this! I started quoting funny lines but then I realised I'd have to quote half the fic, so I'm just going to say that this made me laugh several times :D

(And how did you know that just last week I was watching "Hell's Bells" and lamenting the fact that we never heard about Dawn's demon friend again?)

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

(And how did you know that just last week I was watching "Hell's Bells" and lamenting the fact that we never heard about Dawn's demon friend again?)

Considering how long ago I started this fic, I should be wondering what you're doing in my brain... :)

[quinara]

Hee!! This is great. Although my heart goes out to that poor, poor book...

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Well, the book gave its life, or at least its pristine beauty, for a good cause. What Giles doesn't know won't hurt him.

[kikimay]

Lovely XD I also thought that there was chemistry between Brian the demon and Dawn. This ficlet was needed.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Really, if anyone ever needed to date someone who's not freaked out by the weirdness of her life, it's Dawn. And Brian seemed fairly unimpressed with all the Slayage drama.

[rebcake.livejournal.com]

"And yes, I have protection." She opened her purse to show a bottle of holy water and a stake.

Hee! This was delightful, of course. Dawn has a great future in research ahead of her, but she'll need to work a bit on covering her tracks.

Two Homo Sapiens thumbs up!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

she'll need to work a bit on covering her tracks

I think she was betting on Buffy never reading dusty old books on demons unless she had to. But hey, character development! :)

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Fabulous!

It's pretty much either demons or one of Xander's cousins, and don't tell me that'd be less squicky

Ha!

This totally happened.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

This totally happened.

Of course it did. The entire epic Dawn/Brian storyline takes place just off-camera in s7.

[thisficklemob.livejournal.com]

The cobbler effect -- hee! I like to see good Buffyisms, even in her head. And, very good points Dawn has, about being able to talk about demony stuff with a demon.

Underlining "anatomically compatible with Homo Sapiens" -- Dawn, you should be more subtle. But really, I can't blame her. It's the kind of thing one would want to know before embarking on a relationship, especially since the alternative might not just be weird but dangerous. (And Buffy -- you probably don't have to worry about that on a first date. Probably.)

Tara had been in the ground for two months, grieving has to stop sometime.

Oh, ouch. Dammit, in an otherwise light fic, this is a pointy stabby bit. On the one hand, if Buffy said to anyone that two months was enough time to grieve, she'd sound harsh. But on the other hand, there's been so much in her life that she's had to get over nearly that fast or even faster -- Merrick dying, herself dying, Angel turning to Angelus, sending Angel to hell, Jenny dying, Kendra dying, multiple of her classmates dying (including at graduation), her dad abandoning her, her mom dying, herself dying again and getting resurrected, Giles abandoning her, Tara dying... and on and on.

The only loss anyone even told her it was ok to take time grieving was her mom, and yet that one she had the least time, because she had to step into the parent role for Dawn. Otherwise the message she's gotten is, "Life is painful, now go save the world." So it's really no surprise she sees grief in such terms.

But... poor Buffy.

[thisficklemob.livejournal.com]

P.S. -- I believe Brian is mentioned in Barb C's 'verse, both after X&A's wedding (which goes off there), and later when late-teen Dawn brings home a demon with horns. (Although that might have been a different demon, one doesn't know.)

In any case, yes, I liked Demon Teen too. And considering the fics where Dawn dates Connor (or, when older, even Riley!), it sure could get more squicky, Buffy. *g*

[gillo]

I love your punchline! Delightful story, with lovely voices.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

[oyasumikara.livejournal.com]

I totally ship that!

This story was so much fun, thanks!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO - perfect. A nice light moment in a grim season.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Aww, this is so much better than any Xander's cousins!

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? :) Thanks!

[rahirah]

Heee! Poor Buffy. And good on Dawn for doing her research. *g*

(I've used Teen Demon in a story, though, so there's at least one other fic with him out there!)

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

And now I feel bad that I haven't read that story... I really need to dig deeper into the Barb!Verse. But good to know he's out there!

[dragonyphoenix.livejournal.com]

Dawn did have that crush going on Xander. Why wouldn't she like his cousins? ;-)

I hope you don't mind. I found myself writing a companion piece (http://tamingthemuse.livejournal.com/2767387.html).

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Don't mind at all, quite the contrary, thanks a lot! Off to read it...

[vikingprincess]

This is FANTASTIC.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[oni-9.livejournal.com]

Trenchcoat, sunglasses, Mom hair...sounds like a great undercover outfit. :) Really fun story.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm sure she'll be completely unrecognizable. :)

[lynnenne]

Heeeeeee. That was a treat. "The cobbler effect" - BWAH.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm sort of proud of "the cobbler effect".

[killing-kurare.livejournal.com]

Gosh, that was really funny ^^ You really caught the Buffy-humor, the characters are very well and the topic is hilarious xD
I had a great time reading :)

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thank you, so glad you liked it!

[shapinglight]

Heh! Delightful.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Now that's a noble resuscitation of the minorest of characters. Good luck Dawn, I say. Though not for her research methods, for which she gets the librarian's death laser, I'm afraid.

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Also, I just finally ran your subhead through a google translate. 'Manuscripts do not burn'?

Unless it's been hopelessly mangled, that should be my motto. Except 'manuscripts MUST not burn' instead. *dons inspection hat, queries risk management*

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Just saw this in your year end summary, must have missed the original post - sounds like Dawn is being more sensible than her sister. Definitely less squicky than Xander/Dawn or Connor/Dawn.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot!

Definitely less squicky than Xander/Dawn or Connor/Dawn.

I know, right? In the choice between kinda-incestuous and completely-shoehorned-for-age-reasons, I'll take a third option any time.