Ficlet: Christmas in Hell
Dec. 22nd, 2020 04:16 pmI like to post a holiday fic around this time of year, and that's one tradition 2020 will NOT make me break.
However, I can't guarantee that a bit of 2020 didn't sneak its way into the subtext of some of these. But hey, it's still not nearly the darkest holiday fic I've written, so... I hope it's still enjoyable.
Merry whatever, everyone. May the holidays of your choice be as peaceful and relaxing as circumstances allow, which I guess includes accepting that they are what they are.
Title: Christmas in Hell
Author: Beer Good (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse
Characters/Pairing: Angel, Skip, Vamp!Willow, Lindsey, Wesley/Lilah
Rating: PG13
Word count: 5x100
Summary: Five times people spent Christmas in various Hells.
Wherever Acathla's Vortex Leads To
The worst part, Angel thinks around the 23rd year or so of eternal torment, is that Hell is so... boring. Not that he'd do it better, that would be wrong, but at least Angelus spent centuries coming up with personal tortures for his victims. Take some pride in your work, damnit.
But Hell is just the same thing, for every sufferer, every day. Locked in a cave, boiled in urine, jabbed with pitchforks, ranted at by a large orange-ish devil, repeat ad nauseam with no personal touch.
OK, on Christmas they add some cinnamon-pumpkin spice to the urine. That's nice.
Powers-That-Be Holding Dimension #63
Skip has to give Billy a 15-minute break from the cage of fire every day. Union rules.
Most days, Billy just sits there keening in pain until Skip lights him up again. (They're not on small-talk basis, what with the torture and all.) Sometimes he pleads, or whines, or threatens, or just asks what day it is. One of those days just happens to be December 25th, so Billy begs him, just this once...
So as he fires up the cage again and Billy screams in silent agony, Skip sings in a mellow baritone. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."
Wishverse
Karen huffs as she lugs her Christmas shopping to the car. How dare they close the store at sundown, like the stupid curfew applied at Christmas? Good thing she found a manager who had them stay open for another 45 minutes.
She shoves her way past one of the teenagers loitering outside, a redhead in a leather outfit. Probably a Satan worshipper. Karen snaps "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" at her.
The redhead smiles in the most infuriating way… then grabs Karen by the throat and lifts her off the ground, scattering her shopping everywhere. "I know you meant to say Happy Holidays."
Wolfram & Hart Holding Dimension #13
Lindsey wakes up on Christmas Day, his wife and son next to him, surrounded by warmth and love. They open presents, go for a long walk in the snow, have a snowball fight, come home to a fantastic dinner.
He goes down in the basement to fetch the special gift he bought for his wife. The demon slams him onto the bench and cuts his heart out. He screams until his throat gives out.
His wife smiles and tells him she loves the earrings, and he almost believes her.
Wolfram & Hart run this script every day for a few months.
Hell
Hell likes irony. So Lilah's not surprised when they announce the Secret Satan gift (they like puns, too) is finding out someone you love is burning here too, and that it's your fault.
She shouldn't be happy that Wesley's here. But she's long since made peace with being the sort of person who would be.
Hell isn't lack of hope, it's isolation, literally being singled out. And knowing that someone else is going through it alongside you - if not technically with you, she thinks as they nod to each other across the howling abyss - makes it a little more bearable.
However, I can't guarantee that a bit of 2020 didn't sneak its way into the subtext of some of these. But hey, it's still not nearly the darkest holiday fic I've written, so... I hope it's still enjoyable.
Merry whatever, everyone. May the holidays of your choice be as peaceful and relaxing as circumstances allow, which I guess includes accepting that they are what they are.
Title: Christmas in Hell
Author: Beer Good (
beer_good_foamy)Fandom: Buffyverse
Characters/Pairing: Angel, Skip, Vamp!Willow, Lindsey, Wesley/Lilah
Rating: PG13
Word count: 5x100
Summary: Five times people spent Christmas in various Hells.
Wherever Acathla's Vortex Leads To
The worst part, Angel thinks around the 23rd year or so of eternal torment, is that Hell is so... boring. Not that he'd do it better, that would be wrong, but at least Angelus spent centuries coming up with personal tortures for his victims. Take some pride in your work, damnit.
But Hell is just the same thing, for every sufferer, every day. Locked in a cave, boiled in urine, jabbed with pitchforks, ranted at by a large orange-ish devil, repeat ad nauseam with no personal touch.
OK, on Christmas they add some cinnamon-pumpkin spice to the urine. That's nice.
Powers-That-Be Holding Dimension #63
Skip has to give Billy a 15-minute break from the cage of fire every day. Union rules.
Most days, Billy just sits there keening in pain until Skip lights him up again. (They're not on small-talk basis, what with the torture and all.) Sometimes he pleads, or whines, or threatens, or just asks what day it is. One of those days just happens to be December 25th, so Billy begs him, just this once...
So as he fires up the cage again and Billy screams in silent agony, Skip sings in a mellow baritone. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."
Wishverse
Karen huffs as she lugs her Christmas shopping to the car. How dare they close the store at sundown, like the stupid curfew applied at Christmas? Good thing she found a manager who had them stay open for another 45 minutes.
She shoves her way past one of the teenagers loitering outside, a redhead in a leather outfit. Probably a Satan worshipper. Karen snaps "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" at her.
The redhead smiles in the most infuriating way… then grabs Karen by the throat and lifts her off the ground, scattering her shopping everywhere. "I know you meant to say Happy Holidays."
Wolfram & Hart Holding Dimension #13
Lindsey wakes up on Christmas Day, his wife and son next to him, surrounded by warmth and love. They open presents, go for a long walk in the snow, have a snowball fight, come home to a fantastic dinner.
He goes down in the basement to fetch the special gift he bought for his wife. The demon slams him onto the bench and cuts his heart out. He screams until his throat gives out.
His wife smiles and tells him she loves the earrings, and he almost believes her.
Wolfram & Hart run this script every day for a few months.
Hell
Hell likes irony. So Lilah's not surprised when they announce the Secret Satan gift (they like puns, too) is finding out someone you love is burning here too, and that it's your fault.
She shouldn't be happy that Wesley's here. But she's long since made peace with being the sort of person who would be.
Hell isn't lack of hope, it's isolation, literally being singled out. And knowing that someone else is going through it alongside you - if not technically with you, she thinks as they nod to each other across the howling abyss - makes it a little more bearable.
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