beer_good_foamy

OK, so here's the first instalment of my buffyversebingo card, checking off the box "Tradition".

Title: Give My Love To London
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, pre-series
Pairing: Giles/Ethan
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~600
Summary: The morning after Giles drops out of Watcher school and joins Ethan in London, he thinks about what he's escaping.

"Not my circus, not my monkey."
- Polish proverb

( Ethan stirs as Rupert untangles himself from the sheets and rummages through the clothes and junk on the floor for some cigarettes. )

It's the annual holiday fic! I felt kind of bad about last year's fic and how it anticipated some real-life events, so I went extra fluffy this time. Happy whatever, everyone!

Title: A Slayin' Song Tonight
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse (post-series)
Rating: PG13
Word count: 6x100
Characters: Ensemble
Summary: Five holiday decorations that can be used to slay vampires, and one vice versa. AKA the Scooby Holiday Meet-Up is about as peaceful as you'd expect.

In retrospect, renting a Cleveland hotel ballroom for the annual Scooby Holiday Meet-Up wasn't the best idea. But Buffy's tiny apartment wouldn't hold them all, and the hotel promised food, drinks and holiday paraphernalia at a very decent price (as thanks for clearing up that haunting three weeks earlier).

The vampire gang who (somewhat unwisely) cut the power and crashed the party without needing an invitation presumably weren't part of the service.

"Just once," Buffy muttered as she pulled a Christmas stocking over one vampire's face and staked another, "I'd like one holiday to go according to plan."

* * *

"Um… little help?" Dawn managed to get out as she bounced up and down on the back of the largest vampire. She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking when she tried to choke him with a holiday wreath; pine needles really weren't sharp enough to sever a vampire neck, and now he was trying to throw her off and she hated horsey rides and the eggnog she'd had wasn't helping, and -

When Spike dusted the vamp she tried for a graceful landing, but inertia disagreed and she crashed through the tree, sending angels, candy canes and baubles flying everywhere. "...Ow."

* * *

"OW! Sonofabitch!" Stepping on a bauble is painful even if you're a soulless denizen of the night. One vampire hopped around the room, knocking over the buffet table while trying to pull shards of glass out of his foot, then decided to take his rage out on the old man. "Any last words, grandpa?"

"Merry Christmas?" Giles handed him the gift Buffy had given him. "I suppose as my nemesis, this belongs to you."

The vampire ripped off the wrapping paper, took one look at the knitted sweater with reindeer motif, screamed and dusted.

Giles nodded. "I thought as much."

* * *

"Thanks, Will." Xander brushed off the ashes from the vampire that had been seconds away from a double shot of AB Harris Positive. "Also, huh. I never knew menorahs hurt vampires, but I guess...?"

Willow winced as she carefully checked the abruptly extinguished menorah for vampire-ass-related damage. "May just have been regular vampire fire allergy. It's just... I know I'm not so much with the monotheism these days, and I use crosses to fend off vampires and that's probably some sorta cultural appropriation, but it still feels disrespectful, y'know?" She carefully put it back in the window. "Right. Any more?"

* * *

The last vampire had had enough; nobody had said anything about an army of professional demon hunters. Not wanting to leave empty-handed, he grabbed one of the presents and ran for the door. He almost made it, but then something sparkly flew over his head, slipped down over him and tightened around his legs. He fell face-first, and barely had time to register that someone had landed on his back before a stake pierced his heart.

"Nice one, Blue," Faith said as she holstered the stake.

Illyria dusted off her quickly improvised tinsel lasso. "One does not mess with Texas."

* * *

"Is that it?" Buffy surveyed the damage. "OK, our security deposit's a bust. Aw, the tree."

"Yeah, a vamp did that," Dawn quickly said.

"And one threw your gift on the fire," Giles added. "There's evil for you."

Faith wrenched the remains of the tree upright. "Angel, you wanna be on top?"

Angel ignored Spike's laugh and instead gave Buffy a boost so she could tie Mr Pointy to the top of the tree. A warm glow spread from the few candles that were still lit as the gang stood around with their arms around each other. "Happy holidays, everyone."

So, I always try to post a holiday-themed fic around this time, but I was seriously lacking in inspiration this year. Then I saw this things like this, and this, and what the hell, I opened the holiday booze a bit in advance and figured eh, let's see where this setup takes me. This is in no way a subtle fic, but I hope it works anyway. Happy whatever, everyone!

Title: The True Meaning of Whatever
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, post-series
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1500
Characters/Pairing: Ensemble. Nods to Spike/Buffy, Dawn/Vi
Warnings: Irreverence.
Summary: The new president wants the Slayers to deal with the fabled War On Christmas.

( Too bloody right! About time somebody straightened you yanks out. You lot have lost touch with the true meaning of Christmas. )

Title: The Pieces That Prevailed
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, mid-season 7
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1200
Characters/Pairing: Willow, Xander, Giles, Buffy; nods to Willow/Tara and Willow/Jenny
Summary: As logic stands, you couldn’t meet yourself from the future. But logic broke and Willow bumped into her high school self.

( She looked up and saw a flash of long, straight, dull reddish-brown hair disappear around the corner. )

Here's a different zombie fic bunny that grabbed me. I hope it works.




Title: Building Character
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, season 6
Rating: PG13
Word count: 1900
Summary: Written for zombi_fic_ation and the prompt "50. Buffy + any -- Buffy mostly came back right... mostly". Five perspectives on Buffy, after she comes back from the (slightly more) dead.

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please

( It needed to be quick, and Baron Samedi was very eager to help. Seems Willow has good credit with gods these days. )

Two unconnected Buffyverse drabbles for open_on_sunday's prompt "bottle":

Sense Memory ("A New Man", Giles/Ethan)

The satisfaction of watching Ethan get thrown into a car and driven off to God knows where carries Giles through the clean-up of his apartment after the demon's… his rampage. Up until he sits down with a bottle of single malt.

It's always tasted of home over here. Vaguely British, somehow. Tonight, though, the taste is more specific.

Smoke. Sweat.

Cold, damp student rooms.

Skin.

Music.

Warmth.

The look on Ethan's face when he walked out. Not entirely unlike the one he caught through a rear window today.

He sweeps up the shattered bottle. It's alright. He has more scotch.

---

Needs More Robin Williams (s5)

"I knew we shouldn't have opened Giles' old wine bottle," Willow whimpered as the newly liberated jinni wrecked the Magic Box.

"Regrets later, OK, Will? Just find a spell to put him back in it."

"I'm trying! Ancient Arabic doesn't even write out vowels!" Willow shuffled frantically through a pile of parchments, trying various spells that did nothing but repeatedly open and close the front door.

Buffy held out the bottle. "Heeeere, Jinni-Jinni! …No? OK, hard way it is, then." She looked at the 7 foot jinni, then back at the bottle. "DAWN! Get me a funnel and a mallet!"

---

And a Doctor Who drabble for brutti_ma_buoni's Ragnarökathon and the prompt "the song of the twilight of the gods".

Wir sind die Roboter (Ten, Martha)

Martha listened in disbelief. "…This is the song of the gods?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, not of the gods, mortal ears wouldn’t be able to stand their music. Dreadfully dull. But apparently, as human music goes, this is what they listen to."

"Really?"

"Oh, really. Gods tend to be big on order and perfection. No human fallibility and all that. They used to be into Bach, but apparently they really love Kraftwerk."

They listened for a few minutes as The Man Machine blasted across the heavens.

"Now, where were we? Oh! Right! End of the world. Let's stop it, eh?"

Thing ye firste: Yay!



Thank you so much! Make sure to check out the other winners here.

Thing ye seconde: A drabble for open_on_sunday and the prompt "Defend".

Wings In Water
Post-s6

Throughout a cold English summer, Giles waits for the coven to hold some sort of trial. They’re an ancient order, they must have rules. He’d speak in her defense, explain why Willow should be allowed to live, why she’s worth saving. He’d tell them of the girl waiting at the library doors on his first day at the hellmouth, six years ago. How he failed her. How he couldn’t keep her from becoming ever more powerful, more arrogant. How he couldn’t control her.

He keeps waiting, but the witches never ask his opinion. They just take care of their own.

Title: Hitting Things And A Whole Lotta Jack D (Among Other Things)
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy, 3.06 "Band Candy"
Word count: ~1000
Pairing: Ripper/Faith
Rating: PG13... possibly edging into R, note warnings
Warnings: Underage drinking, underage sex, sex under mystical and/or drunken influence, a certain amount of violence.
Summary: You didn't seriously think Ripper went home and went to bed after the events of "Band Candy", did you?
Written for snickfic's crackficathon and penny_lane_42/snickfic's prompt for Band Candy!Giles/Faith.

( There are things Faith can handle. Vampires? No problem. Stuck-up blonde Slayers? No problem. Dealing with getting your Watcher killed? Work in progress, but that's why the good Lord made biker bars that don't card. With bikers. Who are also not a problem, she's known how to make them fight each other since before she had superpowers. However, a stuffy (though admittedly cute) English gentleman plonking down on the barstool next to you while two guys with facial tattoos are outside fighting over who gets that seat? Might be a problem. )

I started writing this for snickfic's crackficathon and eowyn_315's prompt "Crossover with The West Wing - Buffy shows up for Total Crackpot Day Big Block of Cheese Day to alert the President of the existence of vampires." Then it got delayed, then my computer crashed and it was lost, but then I figured "What the hell, it's a fun idea, I have to write it sometime." So here it is. Big thanks to my beta lutamira! Any remaining mistakes are entirely mine.



Title Ms Summers Goes To Washington
Author Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Rating PG13
Word Count ~3000
Fandom West Wing/Buffy (post-series)
Characters/Pairing (if any) Mostly gen, with some Josh/Donna and Giles/Lord John Marbury.
Warnings ***Friendly mockage of cultural and political stereotypes***
Summary The American people need protection from vampires. Buffy needs funding. The American government has money. You'd think there'd be an obvious solution to this. And so, one day, Buffy, Giles and Willow dressed up in their best business suits and dropped by the White House.

( It seemed like a regular White House morning. )

#11, and here's an obscure little fandom you may not have heard of. It's got, like, vampires and witches and the occasional penguin.

Previously: Firefly, Mad Men, House, Dollhouse, Sandman, Dr Horrible, Farscape, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Black Books, Dexter

Title: When In Rome
Fandom: Buffy
Characters/Pairing: Core four
Spoilers: Post-"Chosen"
Word count: 100

( Io, Saturnalia! )