Shooting Star - the annotated version
Jan. 1st, 2005 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beer_good_foamy"Shooting Star" with DVD commentary, per request from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frogfarm. Comments written like this. Here's the original non-annotated version.
Post-"Chosen". 'Tis the night before a plane leaves for Brazil, and Willow sort of gets to make a wish. Oneshot.
Pairing: Willow/Kennedy, hinted-at Willow/Tara.
Chapters: 1 (complete)
Rating: PG13
Shooting Star
The background for this was a challenge over at the now-defunct slayerfanfic.com, based on Joss' scrapped idea to have Buffy wish Tara back in s7. A lot of people seem to think this is a good idea for some reason; as much as I love Tara, I think it would be an incredibly cheap plot device, not to mention a violation of everything Tara has ever said about wishes and magic and negating the whole "life takes work" theme of s6... so I did something else with it. (Twice; Birthday Girl was written at the same time.)
And yes, there's a double meaning in the title. After all, it all started with a shooting... sort of. Also, there's Bob Dylan's Shooting Star, which should be playing in the background when you read this. The lyrics aren't completely incompatible with the fic.
When she found the hotel room dark and empty, Kennedy was worried for just a second. Not that she didn't think her girlfriend could take care of herself, but... then she saw the shadow sitting out on the dark balcony and relaxed. She slid the door open and put her hand on Willow's shoulder.
"Hi."
"Oh, hey." Willow responded, but seemed a million miles away. "How was patrol?"
"Same ol', same ol'. Andrew dusted a vamp. Of course, he passed out immediately afterwards, but still." No reaction. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign; normally even a mention of Andrew seemed to make Willow feel uneasy. She'd never say anything, she knew he was part of the group, but there were still too many bad memories. Kennedy sat down and rested her head on Willow's shoulder. "So, whatcha doing? Meditating?"
I always thought Willow would be the last person to accept Andrew as a member of the gang. Partly because of his (unwitting) part in Tara's death, and because of her own conscience.
Also, if I may say so myself, I like Kennedy here. She doesn't walk on eggshells around Willow.
"No, just... y'know, stargazing. I figured, once we get to Rio there'll be a whole new bunch of stars to look at, and I just wanted to say goodbye to some of the ones I know."
I seem to recall actually checking this out. Western US and Rio share SOME night sky, but there are also quite a few constellations that cannot be seen from both places.
Kennedy hadn't noticed until now, what with slaying and all, but the Denver sky was completely cloudless and all the stars were out. Up here on the tenth floor at 2AM and with the mountain air perfectly still, she could almost reach out and touch them.
WTF are they doing in Denver? I have no idea. I've never been to Denver. All I know about Denver comes from Stephen King's "The Stand" and Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way", I think. Actually, "The Stand" is probably one of the reasons for me having them in Denver. But I sort of picture them travelling around from demon hotspot to demon hotspot for a while after "Chosen", and I needed someplace with mountain air for the starry sky. Feel free to laugh and tell me that Denver is the smoggiest town in the US; I wouldn't know.
"You know I grew up in New York, and the only stars I ever saw there were at my parents' cocktail parties... but that's the big dipper, right?"
This makes me wince today. We KNOW Kennedy comes from money. No need to spell it out like this. I like the idea, but it's overwritten.
Willow leaned in so they shared a line of sight. "Yep. And that's Cassiopeia, see, the one that looks like a big W? And that's Ursa Minor..." Kennedy felt her tense up and take a deep breath. "The... Moose Getting a Spongebath... Little Pile O'Crackers..."
First mention of the big W. This might be a subconscious It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World reference, where the treasure everyone is chasing after is said to be buried under a big W...
I love that scene of Willow and Tara on the roof in "Listening to Fear". Jetwolf's "The Thought Was Nice" is another fic that uses Tara's constellation names in a magnificent way. Go read it.
"OK, you made at least one of those up."
"Actually, I didn't. I mean, they're made up, but... not by me."
Kennedy knew what that tone in Willow's voice meant. "Tara." Over the last six months they hadn't exactly been avoiding the subject, but rather dealing with it in very tiny steps. Kennedy knew some part of Willow was still hurting, and probably always would be. With Sunnydale wiped from the map in an instant, there was literally nothing left of her years with Tara; she wouldn't even have had a picture of her if Dawn hadn't kept one in her wallet. There was no grave to visit, just the night sky, and tomorrow even that would change.
This is a little scene I would have liked to write; after all, they didn't know Sunnydale was going to turn into a hole in the ground and that they would be left with whatever they happened to have in their pockets. Willow post-Chosen realizing that she has NOTHING left of Tara, and Dawn giving her the picture. It might be a drabble someday.
"She used to say the stars' real names made no sense to her", Willow nodded. "Of course they're not real either, I mean, some guy made them all up. But I dunno... I used to think some of them made too much sense. You know who Cassiopeia was?"
Little (very little) "Restless" callback - filing, giving things names; the stars are what they are regardless of what name "some guy" gives them. The vanity of pointing at something 1000 lightyears away and saying "Hey, you're a mythological character named Orion!" If the people on the planets orbiting those stars knew about it, I'm sure they would shake their heads and say "You can't be Sirius." (Sorry.)
"Some Greek goddess?"
"Close enough. She was a queen, and she was so arrogant the Gods decided to punish her by summoning forth a monster that killed a bunch of people. And the only way the monster could be appeased was by having Cassiopeia sacrifice Andromeda, the person who meant the most to her... And then they put them both in the sky, named a constellation after Cassiopeia and a whole other galaxy, lightyears away, after Andromeda so they could never meet again." Willow sighed. "That's the fate of the big ol' W."
Here's the central (and slightly laboured, but what the hell) metaphor of the piece: Willow seeing herself and Tara in Cassiopeia ("big ol' W") and Andromeda. Of course Andromeda was really Cassiopeia's daughter, but in a sense it works; the idea that Willow blames herself - and Tara - for her being there that morning, standing in the way of that bullet. That she was sacrificed because of something Willow did, and perhaps in a wider sense, that only Tara's death could make Willow stop the monster in herself. Dark Willow coming out was a result of Warren's actions, but she couldn't have come out if she hadn't already been in there, and as harsh as it sounds, Willow needed to cope with that - and Tara's death became the karmic bitchslap that did it.
And also, "never meet again"; even in sci-fi, intergalactic travel is usually practically impossible. Because of what Willow did (remember "Conversations with Dead People") she's afraid that the never really is a NEVER EVER in this world or the next. Willow might not be going to that galaxy.
Kennedy had never been much for deep thoughts, but the subtext was pretty obvious. "Honey... I know how much she meant to you, and I don't expect you to give that up. But you've gotta stop beating yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault."
"That's what I'm getting at. When she died, I blamed everyone, literally everyone, including myself... but never her." Willow's voice was shaky by now, but she wanted to get this out. She kept her eyes fixed at the sky, and Kennedy realised she still hadn't so much as looked at her since she sat down. "For a while after I first met her, I tried to keep her away from Buffy and the others... not just because of the gay thing, but y'know, slaying is kinda life and death and blood and grrr all the time and I didn't want her anywhere near that. She'd had such a crappy life, and I wanted to protect her."
'Course she did. Willow is a good guy, but she's also arrogant and knows best.
"Nothing wrong with that." Kennedy put her arm around Willow.
Speaking of arrogant good guys.
"Maybe not. But over these last few months I've realized something. When she came back, those last two days... she knew. She knew that taking up with me again meant putting her life on the line – if it hadn't been Warren, it would have been something else. She was strong enough to walk away, and it would have been best for both of us if she had, but she chose to come back. Because she loved me. I think somewhere inside, I've been blaming both of us for that. Hating us both for it. And I don't want to do that anymore."
Slightly underwritten, perhaps; I picture Willow almost cracking at the end of this speech - as if she WANTS to stop but isn't QUITE there yet.
"Can't blame a girl for having good taste."
Yes, that's a double entendre in all the angst. My mind lives in the gutter. It's nice there. Newspaper boats float past.
That got a smile from Willow, but she still didn't move. They sat in silence for a while. Suddenly the night sky came to life, as a bright line was drawn across the stars... then another... and within seconds, dozens. Kennedy jumped up. "Holy fuck, what's that?"
"Just a meteor shower. Shooting stars. Except they're not really stars, just... space junk. Rocks and bits of old TV satellites burning up in the atmosphere."
"Bits of old TV satellites burning up in the atmosphere" - that's probably my favourite line here. The TV show is over, there are no more ratings or length restrictions (or f-word bans) to care about; they are outside in more than one way, no audience, just the two of them dealing. Or three.
"Oh. Cool." Kennedy settled back down, a little embarrassed. "So, I think you're supposed to make wishes on those, right? You up for it?"
"Nuh-uh. I don't make wishes anymore. It's kinda pointless nowadays. And dangerous. If there's anything I really want, I pretty much just have to blink my eyes and poof, it's done. And that way lies madness."
Willow is the LAST person who should give in to the quick-fix-wish solution post-"Chosen". Even if we take Kennedy's "goddess" remark with a grain of salt, there's no doubt that she's EXTREMELY powerful. If she doesn't keep that self-control, we're in Superman territory; what do you do with a fictional hero who is so powerful that she can literally do ANYTHING?
"But if you did make a wish, just hypothetically speaking, would you... um..." Kennedy was trying to sound casual, and knew she was failing miserably. "Would you want her to be here?"
Willow finally met her eyes and then leaned in and kissed her, softly. When she broke off, Kennedy saw that she'd been crying, but there was something else too. The Willow she knew – and loved – had always had a sad streak, but she couldn't remember ever seeing her this... peaceful.
That's a part of their relationship I always like to see in fic; the fact that the Willow Kennedy knows is not the Willow we know. She's never met shy, bookish, geeky, bubbly, babbling, silly-t-shirt-wearing Willow, just the traumatized, subdued and nervous s7 Willow. She's got some discovering to do - as would we, when Willow comes out the other side.
"It's... complicated. I mean... obviously, I would have wanted her to not get shot. And there was a long time when I would have given anything to bring her back. But now...?" Willow seemed to have to think about it, then slowly shook her head.
"It's that simple?"
"Yes... and no. I've seen people come back from death, Kennedy – heck, I've brought one or two back myself – and it's no walk in the park. I'll always miss Tara, but I know that she's in a better place, and to bring her back now wouldn't be fair to anyone of us. What's done is done, she's gone and you're here. I just hope you..." Willow paused. "I just hope you know how much that means to me. I don't want you to feel like I'm comparing you to her."
I still think this is a little too easy. OK, so Willow has been mulling this over for months - probably over a year - and come to this conclusion. But... there should have been a little more hints that there was a conflict, IMO. Oh well.
And of course this is partly a meta in disguise. A little nudge in the ribs to all those who hated Kennedy for "replacing" Tara and yet being NOT Tara.
Kennedy smiled and kissed her back. "Oh, you know me – I'm way too full of myself for that."
Which is why Kennedy works for Willow at this point; her arrogance is actually a strong point - we're back to the eggshells thing again.
Again, they sat for a while, cuddling up to escape the chill of the night. "So what about that hypothetical wish?"
Willow looked back up at the sky and sighed. "I guess... I'd just wish for her to know that I'm OK. That she'll always be with me, but that I won't spend my life in mourning. That I've fallen for a beautiful woman who has already saved my life a couple of times and will probably turn me into a fat pig if she doesn't stop ordering pizza with extra cheese for her non-slayer-metabolism-equipped girlfriend..."
I love the idea of Kennedy spoiling Willow rotten, and Willow letting her with a slightly bemused grin.
"I don't recall you exactly complaining..."
"And also... that I get it now. There are no easy fixes, no wishes or spells that can make everything right in an instant and have them stay like that forever. Life is a long and important process, and you can't really skip back or forward or hit pause... just live it while it lasts."
It's a little too much "You know, I learned something today" perhaps, but this has been Willow's greatest flaw and problem from day one: not the magic or the addiction or the freckles or whatever, but her own unwillingness to (remember "Something Blue") live through the hard parts when there is a very tempting quick fix. If Willow is going to stay on the straight and narrow, she needs to at least be aware of this and willing to work on it. Precisely because she can now do anything, she needs to accept that there are some things she cannot do.
And yes, of course she's quoting Tara from "Entropy" here. Tara's own attempt at a quick fix didn't work out too well, remember?
They sat for a little while longer. Then Willow stood up, smiled and took Kennedy's hand. "Come on, let's get to bed. We've got an early flight to catch, tomorrow about this time I plan to get you wasted on caipirinhas and take advantage of you, and for someone my age that doesn't work without a coupla hours of sleep."
Mmmm... caipirinhas...
As they walked inside, Willow cast one last look at the Northern night sky. And if one of the stars seemed to blink back at her, it was probably just a trick of the light.
And that would be the payoff to the stargazing/Andromeda/better place thing, and to Willow's not-really-an-official-wish that Tara knows that she's moving on and is happy that she is. It's a bit cheesy, perhaps, but I love it. Some people have read this and reacted "Oh, so Tara is back?" No. Tara isn't "back" because she will always be there, just not THERE there. The point isn't "will Willow end up with Tara or Kennedy", but "will Willow be able to move on and be the kind of woman Tara could be proud of". I don't actually believe in a heaven myself, but of course the Jossverse has its perks in that regard.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
frogfarm. Comments written like this. Here's the original non-annotated version.Post-"Chosen". 'Tis the night before a plane leaves for Brazil, and Willow sort of gets to make a wish. Oneshot.
Pairing: Willow/Kennedy, hinted-at Willow/Tara.
Chapters: 1 (complete)
Rating: PG13
Shooting Star
The background for this was a challenge over at the now-defunct slayerfanfic.com, based on Joss' scrapped idea to have Buffy wish Tara back in s7. A lot of people seem to think this is a good idea for some reason; as much as I love Tara, I think it would be an incredibly cheap plot device, not to mention a violation of everything Tara has ever said about wishes and magic and negating the whole "life takes work" theme of s6... so I did something else with it. (Twice; Birthday Girl was written at the same time.)
And yes, there's a double meaning in the title. After all, it all started with a shooting... sort of. Also, there's Bob Dylan's Shooting Star, which should be playing in the background when you read this. The lyrics aren't completely incompatible with the fic.
When she found the hotel room dark and empty, Kennedy was worried for just a second. Not that she didn't think her girlfriend could take care of herself, but... then she saw the shadow sitting out on the dark balcony and relaxed. She slid the door open and put her hand on Willow's shoulder.
"Hi."
"Oh, hey." Willow responded, but seemed a million miles away. "How was patrol?"
"Same ol', same ol'. Andrew dusted a vamp. Of course, he passed out immediately afterwards, but still." No reaction. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign; normally even a mention of Andrew seemed to make Willow feel uneasy. She'd never say anything, she knew he was part of the group, but there were still too many bad memories. Kennedy sat down and rested her head on Willow's shoulder. "So, whatcha doing? Meditating?"
I always thought Willow would be the last person to accept Andrew as a member of the gang. Partly because of his (unwitting) part in Tara's death, and because of her own conscience.
Also, if I may say so myself, I like Kennedy here. She doesn't walk on eggshells around Willow.
"No, just... y'know, stargazing. I figured, once we get to Rio there'll be a whole new bunch of stars to look at, and I just wanted to say goodbye to some of the ones I know."
I seem to recall actually checking this out. Western US and Rio share SOME night sky, but there are also quite a few constellations that cannot be seen from both places.
Kennedy hadn't noticed until now, what with slaying and all, but the Denver sky was completely cloudless and all the stars were out. Up here on the tenth floor at 2AM and with the mountain air perfectly still, she could almost reach out and touch them.
WTF are they doing in Denver? I have no idea. I've never been to Denver. All I know about Denver comes from Stephen King's "The Stand" and Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way", I think. Actually, "The Stand" is probably one of the reasons for me having them in Denver. But I sort of picture them travelling around from demon hotspot to demon hotspot for a while after "Chosen", and I needed someplace with mountain air for the starry sky. Feel free to laugh and tell me that Denver is the smoggiest town in the US; I wouldn't know.
"You know I grew up in New York, and the only stars I ever saw there were at my parents' cocktail parties... but that's the big dipper, right?"
This makes me wince today. We KNOW Kennedy comes from money. No need to spell it out like this. I like the idea, but it's overwritten.
Willow leaned in so they shared a line of sight. "Yep. And that's Cassiopeia, see, the one that looks like a big W? And that's Ursa Minor..." Kennedy felt her tense up and take a deep breath. "The... Moose Getting a Spongebath... Little Pile O'Crackers..."
First mention of the big W. This might be a subconscious It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World reference, where the treasure everyone is chasing after is said to be buried under a big W...
I love that scene of Willow and Tara on the roof in "Listening to Fear". Jetwolf's "The Thought Was Nice" is another fic that uses Tara's constellation names in a magnificent way. Go read it.
"OK, you made at least one of those up."
"Actually, I didn't. I mean, they're made up, but... not by me."
Kennedy knew what that tone in Willow's voice meant. "Tara." Over the last six months they hadn't exactly been avoiding the subject, but rather dealing with it in very tiny steps. Kennedy knew some part of Willow was still hurting, and probably always would be. With Sunnydale wiped from the map in an instant, there was literally nothing left of her years with Tara; she wouldn't even have had a picture of her if Dawn hadn't kept one in her wallet. There was no grave to visit, just the night sky, and tomorrow even that would change.
This is a little scene I would have liked to write; after all, they didn't know Sunnydale was going to turn into a hole in the ground and that they would be left with whatever they happened to have in their pockets. Willow post-Chosen realizing that she has NOTHING left of Tara, and Dawn giving her the picture. It might be a drabble someday.
"She used to say the stars' real names made no sense to her", Willow nodded. "Of course they're not real either, I mean, some guy made them all up. But I dunno... I used to think some of them made too much sense. You know who Cassiopeia was?"
Little (very little) "Restless" callback - filing, giving things names; the stars are what they are regardless of what name "some guy" gives them. The vanity of pointing at something 1000 lightyears away and saying "Hey, you're a mythological character named Orion!" If the people on the planets orbiting those stars knew about it, I'm sure they would shake their heads and say "You can't be Sirius." (Sorry.)
"Some Greek goddess?"
"Close enough. She was a queen, and she was so arrogant the Gods decided to punish her by summoning forth a monster that killed a bunch of people. And the only way the monster could be appeased was by having Cassiopeia sacrifice Andromeda, the person who meant the most to her... And then they put them both in the sky, named a constellation after Cassiopeia and a whole other galaxy, lightyears away, after Andromeda so they could never meet again." Willow sighed. "That's the fate of the big ol' W."
Here's the central (and slightly laboured, but what the hell) metaphor of the piece: Willow seeing herself and Tara in Cassiopeia ("big ol' W") and Andromeda. Of course Andromeda was really Cassiopeia's daughter, but in a sense it works; the idea that Willow blames herself - and Tara - for her being there that morning, standing in the way of that bullet. That she was sacrificed because of something Willow did, and perhaps in a wider sense, that only Tara's death could make Willow stop the monster in herself. Dark Willow coming out was a result of Warren's actions, but she couldn't have come out if she hadn't already been in there, and as harsh as it sounds, Willow needed to cope with that - and Tara's death became the karmic bitchslap that did it.
And also, "never meet again"; even in sci-fi, intergalactic travel is usually practically impossible. Because of what Willow did (remember "Conversations with Dead People") she's afraid that the never really is a NEVER EVER in this world or the next. Willow might not be going to that galaxy.
Kennedy had never been much for deep thoughts, but the subtext was pretty obvious. "Honey... I know how much she meant to you, and I don't expect you to give that up. But you've gotta stop beating yourself up about it. It wasn't your fault."
"That's what I'm getting at. When she died, I blamed everyone, literally everyone, including myself... but never her." Willow's voice was shaky by now, but she wanted to get this out. She kept her eyes fixed at the sky, and Kennedy realised she still hadn't so much as looked at her since she sat down. "For a while after I first met her, I tried to keep her away from Buffy and the others... not just because of the gay thing, but y'know, slaying is kinda life and death and blood and grrr all the time and I didn't want her anywhere near that. She'd had such a crappy life, and I wanted to protect her."
'Course she did. Willow is a good guy, but she's also arrogant and knows best.
"Nothing wrong with that." Kennedy put her arm around Willow.
Speaking of arrogant good guys.
"Maybe not. But over these last few months I've realized something. When she came back, those last two days... she knew. She knew that taking up with me again meant putting her life on the line – if it hadn't been Warren, it would have been something else. She was strong enough to walk away, and it would have been best for both of us if she had, but she chose to come back. Because she loved me. I think somewhere inside, I've been blaming both of us for that. Hating us both for it. And I don't want to do that anymore."
Slightly underwritten, perhaps; I picture Willow almost cracking at the end of this speech - as if she WANTS to stop but isn't QUITE there yet.
"Can't blame a girl for having good taste."
Yes, that's a double entendre in all the angst. My mind lives in the gutter. It's nice there. Newspaper boats float past.
That got a smile from Willow, but she still didn't move. They sat in silence for a while. Suddenly the night sky came to life, as a bright line was drawn across the stars... then another... and within seconds, dozens. Kennedy jumped up. "Holy fuck, what's that?"
"Just a meteor shower. Shooting stars. Except they're not really stars, just... space junk. Rocks and bits of old TV satellites burning up in the atmosphere."
"Bits of old TV satellites burning up in the atmosphere" - that's probably my favourite line here. The TV show is over, there are no more ratings or length restrictions (or f-word bans) to care about; they are outside in more than one way, no audience, just the two of them dealing. Or three.
"Oh. Cool." Kennedy settled back down, a little embarrassed. "So, I think you're supposed to make wishes on those, right? You up for it?"
"Nuh-uh. I don't make wishes anymore. It's kinda pointless nowadays. And dangerous. If there's anything I really want, I pretty much just have to blink my eyes and poof, it's done. And that way lies madness."
Willow is the LAST person who should give in to the quick-fix-wish solution post-"Chosen". Even if we take Kennedy's "goddess" remark with a grain of salt, there's no doubt that she's EXTREMELY powerful. If she doesn't keep that self-control, we're in Superman territory; what do you do with a fictional hero who is so powerful that she can literally do ANYTHING?
"But if you did make a wish, just hypothetically speaking, would you... um..." Kennedy was trying to sound casual, and knew she was failing miserably. "Would you want her to be here?"
Willow finally met her eyes and then leaned in and kissed her, softly. When she broke off, Kennedy saw that she'd been crying, but there was something else too. The Willow she knew – and loved – had always had a sad streak, but she couldn't remember ever seeing her this... peaceful.
That's a part of their relationship I always like to see in fic; the fact that the Willow Kennedy knows is not the Willow we know. She's never met shy, bookish, geeky, bubbly, babbling, silly-t-shirt-wearing Willow, just the traumatized, subdued and nervous s7 Willow. She's got some discovering to do - as would we, when Willow comes out the other side.
"It's... complicated. I mean... obviously, I would have wanted her to not get shot. And there was a long time when I would have given anything to bring her back. But now...?" Willow seemed to have to think about it, then slowly shook her head.
"It's that simple?"
"Yes... and no. I've seen people come back from death, Kennedy – heck, I've brought one or two back myself – and it's no walk in the park. I'll always miss Tara, but I know that she's in a better place, and to bring her back now wouldn't be fair to anyone of us. What's done is done, she's gone and you're here. I just hope you..." Willow paused. "I just hope you know how much that means to me. I don't want you to feel like I'm comparing you to her."
I still think this is a little too easy. OK, so Willow has been mulling this over for months - probably over a year - and come to this conclusion. But... there should have been a little more hints that there was a conflict, IMO. Oh well.
And of course this is partly a meta in disguise. A little nudge in the ribs to all those who hated Kennedy for "replacing" Tara and yet being NOT Tara.
Kennedy smiled and kissed her back. "Oh, you know me – I'm way too full of myself for that."
Which is why Kennedy works for Willow at this point; her arrogance is actually a strong point - we're back to the eggshells thing again.
Again, they sat for a while, cuddling up to escape the chill of the night. "So what about that hypothetical wish?"
Willow looked back up at the sky and sighed. "I guess... I'd just wish for her to know that I'm OK. That she'll always be with me, but that I won't spend my life in mourning. That I've fallen for a beautiful woman who has already saved my life a couple of times and will probably turn me into a fat pig if she doesn't stop ordering pizza with extra cheese for her non-slayer-metabolism-equipped girlfriend..."
I love the idea of Kennedy spoiling Willow rotten, and Willow letting her with a slightly bemused grin.
"I don't recall you exactly complaining..."
"And also... that I get it now. There are no easy fixes, no wishes or spells that can make everything right in an instant and have them stay like that forever. Life is a long and important process, and you can't really skip back or forward or hit pause... just live it while it lasts."
It's a little too much "You know, I learned something today" perhaps, but this has been Willow's greatest flaw and problem from day one: not the magic or the addiction or the freckles or whatever, but her own unwillingness to (remember "Something Blue") live through the hard parts when there is a very tempting quick fix. If Willow is going to stay on the straight and narrow, she needs to at least be aware of this and willing to work on it. Precisely because she can now do anything, she needs to accept that there are some things she cannot do.
And yes, of course she's quoting Tara from "Entropy" here. Tara's own attempt at a quick fix didn't work out too well, remember?
They sat for a little while longer. Then Willow stood up, smiled and took Kennedy's hand. "Come on, let's get to bed. We've got an early flight to catch, tomorrow about this time I plan to get you wasted on caipirinhas and take advantage of you, and for someone my age that doesn't work without a coupla hours of sleep."
Mmmm... caipirinhas...
As they walked inside, Willow cast one last look at the Northern night sky. And if one of the stars seemed to blink back at her, it was probably just a trick of the light.
And that would be the payoff to the stargazing/Andromeda/better place thing, and to Willow's not-really-an-official-wish that Tara knows that she's moving on and is happy that she is. It's a bit cheesy, perhaps, but I love it. Some people have read this and reacted "Oh, so Tara is back?" No. Tara isn't "back" because she will always be there, just not THERE there. The point isn't "will Willow end up with Tara or Kennedy", but "will Willow be able to move on and be the kind of woman Tara could be proud of". I don't actually believe in a heaven myself, but of course the Jossverse has its perks in that regard.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
