Ficlet: Nice Shoes, Two-Feet
Nov. 16th, 2019 03:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beer_good_foamyHere's a little ficlet for my ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
buffyversebingo card and the prompt "Decay". I think I'll end up using it for my free space too.
Most of the fics I've written for this have been way too serious. This one's a bit more light-hearted.
Title: Nice Shoes, Two-Feet
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse (post-canon)
Characters/Pairing: Faith, Willow
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~700
Summary: Remember how, when a Slayer turns 18, she's put through a test? Well, Faith just had a birthday, and it turns out there's another ordeal to go through... One that will have her questioning her entire persona.
Nice Shoes, Two-Feet
"Look, Red, I swear I wasn't goofing off. Something's really wrong with me."
It had started with a little thing two weeks earlier. Faith was taking some of the newbies out on patrol, came across a few vampires, and Faith swore up and down afterwards that she wasn't trying to showboat or anything, she just … missed. While she was picking herself up, two vamps got past her and one of the newbies almost got really badly hurt. Just almost, but still. She can handle the younger Slayers finding her both cool and scary, but sloppy is another thing.
"So you made a teeny tiny mistake, it happens, but - "
"Fuck that. It wasn't a mistake. Something was wrong. Like, with my eyes. Has been for a while now. And then last night..."
She'd been backup with her bow for a nest raid. Which went well until it didn't. Missing the heart of one vampire wasn't a big deal; they move around, it happens, even if it hadn't happened to her a lot. But actually nailing Rona in the ass with the next arrow when she moved in to finish the vamp off proved… somewhat less popular. Which is how she found herself in Willow's office.
"Good news is, the gluteus maximus is probably the best place to take an arrow if you absolutely insist on taking one. Rona will be fine. She just, y'know, probably won't be fine anywhere near you anytime soon."
"Can't say I blame her." Faith shook her head. "C'mon, Red, you gotta help me out here and figure out what's wrong with me. A curse, a ghost, a-a goddamn interdimensional parasite from hell living in my brain or whatever, but you gotta fix this before I actually kill someone and - "
"'Kay, calm down."
"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down!" Faith got to her feet and started pacing back and forth. "This whole thing started because I killed the wrong guy all those years ago, and I've worked too hard to - " She stopped and pointed at Willow. "Wait, that's it, ain't it? I was in jail for my 18th birthday and never had to take that cruciamentum thing, and now you guys have poisoned me like you did to B, and - "
Willow picked up an orange from the fruit basket on her desk. "Fine, don't calm down. Just catch." She lobbed the orange towards Faith, who reacted instinctively with Slayer speed - and fumbled the orange completely. It passed between her hands, bounced off her chest and landed on the floor.
Faith groaned. "Now do you believe me? I can't even catch a - what the hell are you laughing at?"
"Sorry." Willow brought her mirth under control. " It's just, Faith… you're 40 years old. And well, so are your eyeballs."
"Hell that's supposed to mean?"
Willow leaned forward in her chair with the most patient look she could muster. "Sweetie… you need glasses."
Faith blinked and sat down. "What? No, just… What? That's bullshit. I've got super senses. You ever heard of a Slayer with glasses?"
"You ever heard of Slayers living to 40? Super or not, you guys are going to have to get used to it like the rest of us. Glasses, grey hairs, bad back, the whole enchilada."
"But... " Faith fidgeted in her seat.
Willow grinned innocently. "What?"
Faith crossed and uncrossed her leather-clad legs, pulled at her heavy metal t-shirt, and consciously tried to look as cool as possible doing it.
* * *
There's a story going around among the Slayers-in-training of the first time a vamp remarked on Faith's glasses. It gets better every time it's told. That he called her "four-eyes", "nerd", "grandma" or "boomer", that he laughed at her, that he refused to fight because he wouldn't hit a girl with glasses... And what she proceeded to do to him. None of them were actually there, and nobody knows who first told the story, but everyone is sure it happened, and whenever they ask any of the older Slayers about it, they always go "Oh yeah, that's totally what happened. Definitely." (Except Faith, who just gives a sly grin, and Rona, who just glares and changes the subject.)
And besides, she makes them look cool.
buffyversebingo card and the prompt "Decay". I think I'll end up using it for my free space too. Most of the fics I've written for this have been way too serious. This one's a bit more light-hearted.
Title: Nice Shoes, Two-Feet
Author: Beer Good (
beer_good_foamy)Fandom: Buffyverse (post-canon)
Characters/Pairing: Faith, Willow
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~700
Summary: Remember how, when a Slayer turns 18, she's put through a test? Well, Faith just had a birthday, and it turns out there's another ordeal to go through... One that will have her questioning her entire persona.
Nice Shoes, Two-Feet
"Look, Red, I swear I wasn't goofing off. Something's really wrong with me."
It had started with a little thing two weeks earlier. Faith was taking some of the newbies out on patrol, came across a few vampires, and Faith swore up and down afterwards that she wasn't trying to showboat or anything, she just … missed. While she was picking herself up, two vamps got past her and one of the newbies almost got really badly hurt. Just almost, but still. She can handle the younger Slayers finding her both cool and scary, but sloppy is another thing.
"So you made a teeny tiny mistake, it happens, but - "
"Fuck that. It wasn't a mistake. Something was wrong. Like, with my eyes. Has been for a while now. And then last night..."
She'd been backup with her bow for a nest raid. Which went well until it didn't. Missing the heart of one vampire wasn't a big deal; they move around, it happens, even if it hadn't happened to her a lot. But actually nailing Rona in the ass with the next arrow when she moved in to finish the vamp off proved… somewhat less popular. Which is how she found herself in Willow's office.
"Good news is, the gluteus maximus is probably the best place to take an arrow if you absolutely insist on taking one. Rona will be fine. She just, y'know, probably won't be fine anywhere near you anytime soon."
"Can't say I blame her." Faith shook her head. "C'mon, Red, you gotta help me out here and figure out what's wrong with me. A curse, a ghost, a-a goddamn interdimensional parasite from hell living in my brain or whatever, but you gotta fix this before I actually kill someone and - "
"'Kay, calm down."
"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down!" Faith got to her feet and started pacing back and forth. "This whole thing started because I killed the wrong guy all those years ago, and I've worked too hard to - " She stopped and pointed at Willow. "Wait, that's it, ain't it? I was in jail for my 18th birthday and never had to take that cruciamentum thing, and now you guys have poisoned me like you did to B, and - "
Willow picked up an orange from the fruit basket on her desk. "Fine, don't calm down. Just catch." She lobbed the orange towards Faith, who reacted instinctively with Slayer speed - and fumbled the orange completely. It passed between her hands, bounced off her chest and landed on the floor.
Faith groaned. "Now do you believe me? I can't even catch a - what the hell are you laughing at?"
"Sorry." Willow brought her mirth under control. " It's just, Faith… you're 40 years old. And well, so are your eyeballs."
"Hell that's supposed to mean?"
Willow leaned forward in her chair with the most patient look she could muster. "Sweetie… you need glasses."
Faith blinked and sat down. "What? No, just… What? That's bullshit. I've got super senses. You ever heard of a Slayer with glasses?"
"You ever heard of Slayers living to 40? Super or not, you guys are going to have to get used to it like the rest of us. Glasses, grey hairs, bad back, the whole enchilada."
"But... " Faith fidgeted in her seat.
Willow grinned innocently. "What?"
Faith crossed and uncrossed her leather-clad legs, pulled at her heavy metal t-shirt, and consciously tried to look as cool as possible doing it.
There's a story going around among the Slayers-in-training of the first time a vamp remarked on Faith's glasses. It gets better every time it's told. That he called her "four-eyes", "nerd", "grandma" or "boomer", that he laughed at her, that he refused to fight because he wouldn't hit a girl with glasses... And what she proceeded to do to him. None of them were actually there, and nobody knows who first told the story, but everyone is sure it happened, and whenever they ask any of the older Slayers about it, they always go "Oh yeah, that's totally what happened. Definitely." (Except Faith, who just gives a sly grin, and Rona, who just glares and changes the subject.)
And besides, she makes them look cool.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-17 11:02 am (UTC)