beer_good_foamy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beer_good_foamy) wrote2007-12-31 05:44 pm
beer_good_foamy) wrote2007-12-31 05:44 pm
Crossover mania!
OK, Happy New Year everyone! Just about time to squeeze this in before the year's over. This is belated birthday fic for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xlivvielockex and maharet83.
Title: Five People Who Didn't Know They Were In A Crossover
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 600 (4x100, 1x200)
Fandoms: Scrubs, Young Ones, Twin Peaks, Dexter, Sopranos and the various Buffyverses
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by all sorts of people, all of whom have this in common: they're not me, and they're the only ones who make any money off the characters. And I've had schnapps.
Five People Who Didn't Know They Were In A Crossover
John "JD" Dorian
Working in a hospital brings new challenges every day, JD reflects as the morning starts with the Janitor "accidentally" dropping a bucket of paint. Trying to wipe the yellow paint out of his eyes and hair, he checks in on the day's first patient; a young redhead brought in by some friends and thought to be suffering from concussion.
"So..." checking the clipboard, "...Vi? Cool, two-letter name. I'm JD."
The girl gives him a disoriented look. "You're... yellow."
"And you're black and blue. We make quite a pair, don't you think? What happened?"
"Uh... I think this vampire I was fighting hit me. Over the... whaddyacallit..."
"Head?"
"Yeah."
"A... vampire, you said?" Yep, obvious concussion.
"What happened to you?"
"It's just... this janitor. I think he's a demon," JD jokes.
"Oh, that's OK. I deal with demons."
"Sure you do. Now, I want you to get plenty of rest and – HEY! Get back here!"
The rest of the day involves trying to save the Janitor from getting his head chopped off, restraining a delirious but very strong vampire slayer, and plenty of inappropriate daydreaming caused by Vi's dark-haired colleague coming on to Elliot. Working in a hospital is never boring.
Vyvyan Basterd
In 1975, Spike saw Television sneer their way through "Blank Generation", all bad poetry, torn t-shirts and slashing guitars, and it felt like coming home. He was Punk. For eight years, any wannabe who tried to be tougher than him ended up dead.
Then this kid (carrot hair, denim vest, fucking RIVETS in his forehead) tried to impress Dru by eating a beer bottle. When Spike grabbed him the kid's pet hamster took a chunk out of Spike's ass, and then there was a cricket bat -
When Spike woke up, his first muddled thought was that Cliff Richard was underrated.
And for those of you who don't know who Vyvyan Basterd is, Youtube to the rescue:
Best Entrance Ever
Bored
Achtung!
Murder In The Dark
WHERE'S MY SUPPER?!?
Special Agent Dale Cooper
"Diane, it's 4.43 PM. I just received word that I'm needed on another case, so I'll be boarding the plane to Washington State in exactly... fifty-eight minutes. It's a shame to have to take a break in this investigation. I have my suspicions about the Mayor – when I told him that I had to leave, he didn't seem at all surprised. Also, last night I dreamt about a bald man trapped in an underground church, talking of opening the gates of Hell. I'm not sure how to interpret this. But naturally, Sunnydale will still be here when I get back."
Dexter Morgan
There's no bloodwork needed for this serial killer; the victims are drained of every drop, two holes in the neck. Masuka talks about vampires, but nobody takes him seriously.
Dexter tracks the killer for weeks before finding her. He surprises her from behind, puts the syringe to her neck – and sees her face up close for the first time. He quickly backs off, wondering if the appropriate reaction is anger, relief or fright. "Uh... Rita?"
But there's nothing of his humble girlfriend in that predator smile. In the seconds before Darla catches him, Dexter realizes what a monster truly is.
Tony Soprano
When Tony walks in the back room at the Bing, it takes him five seconds to wonder why everyone is so quiet. It takes him six seconds to recognize Big Pussy Bonpensiero sitting in his chair. Everyone stares at him, the obvious reason being that Puss' has been sleeping with the fishes for the last five years.
"The fuck...?"
"Nice to see you too, Ton'." The formerly dead mobster wrings salt water out of his sleeve.
"What..." Tony blinks. "How... What... Who..."
"Glad you asked, boss. See, there was this four-second window after you shot me, and then this witch..."
xlivvielockex and maharet83.Title: Five People Who Didn't Know They Were In A Crossover
Author: Beer Good (
beer_good_foamy)Rating: PG13
Word Count: 600 (4x100, 1x200)
Fandoms: Scrubs, Young Ones, Twin Peaks, Dexter, Sopranos and the various Buffyverses
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by all sorts of people, all of whom have this in common: they're not me, and they're the only ones who make any money off the characters. And I've had schnapps.
Five People Who Didn't Know They Were In A Crossover
John "JD" Dorian
Working in a hospital brings new challenges every day, JD reflects as the morning starts with the Janitor "accidentally" dropping a bucket of paint. Trying to wipe the yellow paint out of his eyes and hair, he checks in on the day's first patient; a young redhead brought in by some friends and thought to be suffering from concussion.
"So..." checking the clipboard, "...Vi? Cool, two-letter name. I'm JD."
The girl gives him a disoriented look. "You're... yellow."
"And you're black and blue. We make quite a pair, don't you think? What happened?"
"Uh... I think this vampire I was fighting hit me. Over the... whaddyacallit..."
"Head?"
"Yeah."
"A... vampire, you said?" Yep, obvious concussion.
"What happened to you?"
"It's just... this janitor. I think he's a demon," JD jokes.
"Oh, that's OK. I deal with demons."
"Sure you do. Now, I want you to get plenty of rest and – HEY! Get back here!"
The rest of the day involves trying to save the Janitor from getting his head chopped off, restraining a delirious but very strong vampire slayer, and plenty of inappropriate daydreaming caused by Vi's dark-haired colleague coming on to Elliot. Working in a hospital is never boring.
Vyvyan Basterd
In 1975, Spike saw Television sneer their way through "Blank Generation", all bad poetry, torn t-shirts and slashing guitars, and it felt like coming home. He was Punk. For eight years, any wannabe who tried to be tougher than him ended up dead.
Then this kid (carrot hair, denim vest, fucking RIVETS in his forehead) tried to impress Dru by eating a beer bottle. When Spike grabbed him the kid's pet hamster took a chunk out of Spike's ass, and then there was a cricket bat -
When Spike woke up, his first muddled thought was that Cliff Richard was underrated.
And for those of you who don't know who Vyvyan Basterd is, Youtube to the rescue:
Best Entrance Ever
Bored
Achtung!
Murder In The Dark
WHERE'S MY SUPPER?!?
Special Agent Dale Cooper
"Diane, it's 4.43 PM. I just received word that I'm needed on another case, so I'll be boarding the plane to Washington State in exactly... fifty-eight minutes. It's a shame to have to take a break in this investigation. I have my suspicions about the Mayor – when I told him that I had to leave, he didn't seem at all surprised. Also, last night I dreamt about a bald man trapped in an underground church, talking of opening the gates of Hell. I'm not sure how to interpret this. But naturally, Sunnydale will still be here when I get back."
Dexter Morgan
There's no bloodwork needed for this serial killer; the victims are drained of every drop, two holes in the neck. Masuka talks about vampires, but nobody takes him seriously.
Dexter tracks the killer for weeks before finding her. He surprises her from behind, puts the syringe to her neck – and sees her face up close for the first time. He quickly backs off, wondering if the appropriate reaction is anger, relief or fright. "Uh... Rita?"
But there's nothing of his humble girlfriend in that predator smile. In the seconds before Darla catches him, Dexter realizes what a monster truly is.
Tony Soprano
When Tony walks in the back room at the Bing, it takes him five seconds to wonder why everyone is so quiet. It takes him six seconds to recognize Big Pussy Bonpensiero sitting in his chair. Everyone stares at him, the obvious reason being that Puss' has been sleeping with the fishes for the last five years.
"The fuck...?"
"Nice to see you too, Ton'." The formerly dead mobster wrings salt water out of his sleeve.
"What..." Tony blinks. "How... What... Who..."
"Glad you asked, boss. See, there was this four-second window after you shot me, and then this witch..."