beer_good_foamy

I know I said I wouldn't post anything more about the comics, but I wanted to contribute something to the Nertz To You Joss Whedon ficathon and so I ended up with three alternatives:
1) Tweak a fic I'm currently writing to address something about the comics, which feels unfair
2) Write something angsty that takes the comics halfway seriously, which feels hypocritical
3) Write something light and silly, which feels... doable. So without further ado, a drabble set in the Retreat arc, right after Twilight's attack on the monastery in Tibet takes an unexpected twist.

By His Own Petard

Twilight regained consciousness face-down in Tibetan snow. Superpowers or not, getting trampled by a quickly retreating US Army battalion hurts.

A girl stood over him. "By authority of the Slayer's Council and the People's Republic, I, Jeung Chao-Ahn, am placing you under arrest."

He eyed the tens of thousands of heavily armed troops behind her, all aiming at him. "The Chinese army is on your side?"

"Yes."

"But powerful armies don't just hand over command to -"

"Andrew put on a wrestling mask and asked nicely."

"Oh. That'd work." He sighed. "Can I talk to Buffy?"

"No. And stop sparkling."

MY COMPUTER IS WORKING PROPERLY AGAIN. Phew. And I didn't even lose everything I had on it.

So to celebrate, here's a little snarkfic for the day. Spoilers for the Riley oneshot.

Title: Is That A Good?
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Season 8
Word Count: ~600
Rating: PG13
Summary: The Big Bads (or are they?) have a cup of coffee and try to work out the kinks of their plan.

”Baby, we're the government. It's what we do.”
- Riley Finn, BtVS 4.22 “Restless”

( It's the caffeine. It makes me jittery. )

Happy comic!crack!day, everyone! OK, so I had a couple of different ideas left that I was considering using for comicsnarkathon, and since we'll soon have about six months in which to write carefully thought-out crack about #35, eventually I decided to just toss them all together into one rather gratuitous flashfic, fittingly titled...

Title: The Kitchen Sink Cracked From Side To Side
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Season 8
Word Count: ~850
Rating: PG13
Warnings: ***Metamorphosis, character redeath, implied mutilation, canon events***
Summary: In the last days, everything happens at once.

The Kitchen Sink Cracked From Side To Side

( What the hell happened here? )

I know, I keep trying to quit Season 8, but damnit, this last issue was so utterly crackalicious that I couldn't help myself.

Title: The Plan
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Season 8
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~650
Warning: Apocalypse
Summary: A missing scene from #34, explaining what's really going on behind the scenes. Or above them. Or... well, everywhere, really. Come with me now, gentle readers, to a secret meeting of... The Universe.

( Spoilers )

OK, so one final (?) piece of Season 8 speculation. True, I haven't read the last few issues, but I think I've stumbled over enough information to finally figure it all out.

( Spoilers for Twilight's identity, as well as more or less vague spoilers for various sci-fi series )

Yep, I wrote something about #30. It's more grumpy than snarky, but it has a poll.

Nothing was delivered
And I tell this truth to you,
Not out of spite or anger
But simply because it's true.
- Bob Dylan, "Nothing Was Delivered"

"My god, it sucks to be weak."
- Buffy Summers, Season 8 #30

( Fly, my pretties, fly )

So I wasn't too happy with #29. Spoilers include the blurb for #31.

"Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend" – Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil, and that's us." - Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.10

"We agreed to be made weak." - Willow Rosenberg, Season 8 #29

( You're not getting the big picture here. I have no strength. I have no coordination. I throw knives like... (A girl?) Like I'm not the Slayer. )

So I finally got a hold of #28. I was already spoiled on some stuff, and I'm sure most of the fine details have already been ironed out elsewhere, but here's a kind of review anyway.

"Have you tried not being a Slayer?" - Joyce Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer 2.22
"But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed." - Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer 3.12
"I feel weak. I don't like it." - Satsu, Season 8 #28
"Cheap holiday in other people's misery." - Sex Pistols, "Holidays In The Sun"

( Sub mission goin' down, down', draggin' me down )

Yes, I wrote Season 8 fic. Try not to faint. But I finally understood what's behind the current storyline, and I could either do snarky meta or snarky fic.

Title: In Alphabetical Order AKA Charles Bronson, Eat Your Heart Out
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 900
Fandom: Season 8 – spoilers up until #27
Characters: Buffy, Willow, references to Buffy/Spike
Warning: Passing references to depression, suicide etc.
Summary: One day in Tibet, Willow puts two and two together. Buffy remembers putting one and one together. It adds up to about 7 billion.

( You save the world one person at a time )

Retreat (n.)
1. the forced or strategic withdrawal of an army or an armed force before an enemy, or the withdrawing of a naval force from action.
2. the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion.
3. a place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy: The library was his retreat.
4. an asylum, as for the insane.
5. a retirement or a period of retirement for religious exercises and meditation.
6. Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

( Thoughts on #27 )