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beer_good_foamyBINGO! This is for the "The Price" square and also the FREE SPACE one, so my ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
buffyversebingo card is complete, just in time. I had a few ideas that didn't work out, but it's been ages since I wrote a Five Times fic...
Title: Five People Whose Loan Applications Were Approved At Sunnydale Securities Bank (And One Whose Wasn't)
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG13
Word count: 750
Summary: So how does Sunnydale… work, exactly? Well, it's a long and complex story of corruption and denial, but let's check in with one of the cogs that make the wheels spin. Remember the loan officer who turned Buffy down in "Flooded"...? Here's his Sunnydale story in six installments, occasionally interacting with the main storyline.
"For some reason, Sunnydale property values have never been competitive..."
- Carl Savitsky, BtVS 6.04 "Flooded"
When Carl Savitsky transferred to the Sunnydale branch, it seemed like a good idea. The pay was better, he could afford a house within walking distance of the bank, and it seemed a friendly enough town.
It was weird though; he'd give someone a loan, they'd buy a house, and six months later they'd sell it again… or their estate would. That happens. But is it supposed to happen this often?
Oh well, it still felt good every time he helped someone find and pay for their dream home. "Right, Mrs Summers, and if you'll just sign here…"
***
"You know, in my day, paperboys used bikes."
The teenager tried to hide the "Yeah, whatever, gramps" look. "Bikes are fine. But…"
"So why would you need a car for your paper route?"
"Look, there's this house out on Crawford, three people living in it, this bleach-blonde guy in a wheelchair, and his girlfriend keeps looking at me like… I just… I need some horsepower, OK? And some kind of slingshot so I don't have to come within 30 feet of their door."
Oh. That house again. He probably shouldn't have approved that one. "I'll see what I can do."
***
"Mr Thomsen, this is how many times you've had to remodel the Bronze now?"
His client at least looked embarrassed. "Nine."
"Nine." Carl looked through his papers. "And you've never considered… options? Such as not allowing minors in an establishment that sells alcohol…?"
Thomsen fiddled with his uncomfortable tie, then nodded to himself and looked back at Savitsky. "I'm not sure the minors are the problem. Or that having them on the streets instead would be better. What do you think?"
They looked at each other.
Finally, Carl signed on the 'APPROVED' line. "Right. But next time… "
"Next time. Sure."
***
The police were clear that he wasn't under suspicion for anything; they just wanted to examine the paperwork. If someone buys a large piece of property and leaves a trail of bodies in their wake, even Sunnydale PD has to take notice.
No, Carl said, he'd never met Mr Alucard, everything was set up through correspondence. No, he had no idea how he'd managed to erect a castle on the plot within 24 hours. Yes, he'd suggested the moving company, but…
So everything was perfectly legal, they assured him. He had no part in it. He just signed a contract.
***
"I'm telling you, man, this is the future. Right now it's just a web page, but once mobile phone technology advances - "
"So... your business plan is to buy and rent out mausoleums as short-term dwellings."
"Uh-huh."
"And you're calling it…"
"LairBnB. Of course they usually handle the breakfast part themselves, if you know what I mean."
Carl put down his pen with what he hoped was contempt. "It's certainly a unique idea."
"I know, right? It's so obvious! I mean, it's Sunnydale, might as well cash in."
He thought of the latest employee evaluation. Looked at the numbers. And signed.
***
"You wanted to see me, Sir?"
The bank manager looked up. "Ah, Mr Savitsky, yes. About the, um… Summers loan. You not only denied her a loan after she tried to foil a robbery - "
"With all due respect, Sir, that was no ordinary robber."
" - your colleagues say you also implied that she ought to sell the house and leave town. That, Mr Savitsky, is not how we do business at this bank."
"I was trying - Did you see the security footage, Sir? Do you know what happens in this town?"
"Of course I do. People pay a higher interest rate than anywhere else in Southern California, making them profitable even in the short term, while also making us beneficiaries in their life insurance. As long as we sign them up, that is."
"Sign them up as WHAT? Monster food?"
The manager glanced at the clock; he always left at 4PM to drive back to his home in Pasadena. "Mr Savitsky, as you know, this is not the first such complaint we've had against you recently. I'd offer you a transfer to one of our other branches, but… I think it would be best if you took this opportunity to reflect and re-evaluate your career. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Carl sold the house once he got the new job in Sacramento. Couldn't afford not to. The family who moved in loved it; so good to get out of LA, raise the kids somewhere safe. What was he supposed to do?
buffyversebingo card is complete, just in time. I had a few ideas that didn't work out, but it's been ages since I wrote a Five Times fic...Title: Five People Whose Loan Applications Were Approved At Sunnydale Securities Bank (And One Whose Wasn't)
Author: Beer Good (
beer_good_foamy)Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG13
Word count: 750
Summary: So how does Sunnydale… work, exactly? Well, it's a long and complex story of corruption and denial, but let's check in with one of the cogs that make the wheels spin. Remember the loan officer who turned Buffy down in "Flooded"...? Here's his Sunnydale story in six installments, occasionally interacting with the main storyline.
"For some reason, Sunnydale property values have never been competitive..."
- Carl Savitsky, BtVS 6.04 "Flooded"
When Carl Savitsky transferred to the Sunnydale branch, it seemed like a good idea. The pay was better, he could afford a house within walking distance of the bank, and it seemed a friendly enough town.
It was weird though; he'd give someone a loan, they'd buy a house, and six months later they'd sell it again… or their estate would. That happens. But is it supposed to happen this often?
Oh well, it still felt good every time he helped someone find and pay for their dream home. "Right, Mrs Summers, and if you'll just sign here…"
"You know, in my day, paperboys used bikes."
The teenager tried to hide the "Yeah, whatever, gramps" look. "Bikes are fine. But…"
"So why would you need a car for your paper route?"
"Look, there's this house out on Crawford, three people living in it, this bleach-blonde guy in a wheelchair, and his girlfriend keeps looking at me like… I just… I need some horsepower, OK? And some kind of slingshot so I don't have to come within 30 feet of their door."
Oh. That house again. He probably shouldn't have approved that one. "I'll see what I can do."
"Mr Thomsen, this is how many times you've had to remodel the Bronze now?"
His client at least looked embarrassed. "Nine."
"Nine." Carl looked through his papers. "And you've never considered… options? Such as not allowing minors in an establishment that sells alcohol…?"
Thomsen fiddled with his uncomfortable tie, then nodded to himself and looked back at Savitsky. "I'm not sure the minors are the problem. Or that having them on the streets instead would be better. What do you think?"
They looked at each other.
Finally, Carl signed on the 'APPROVED' line. "Right. But next time… "
"Next time. Sure."
The police were clear that he wasn't under suspicion for anything; they just wanted to examine the paperwork. If someone buys a large piece of property and leaves a trail of bodies in their wake, even Sunnydale PD has to take notice.
No, Carl said, he'd never met Mr Alucard, everything was set up through correspondence. No, he had no idea how he'd managed to erect a castle on the plot within 24 hours. Yes, he'd suggested the moving company, but…
So everything was perfectly legal, they assured him. He had no part in it. He just signed a contract.
"I'm telling you, man, this is the future. Right now it's just a web page, but once mobile phone technology advances - "
"So... your business plan is to buy and rent out mausoleums as short-term dwellings."
"Uh-huh."
"And you're calling it…"
"LairBnB. Of course they usually handle the breakfast part themselves, if you know what I mean."
Carl put down his pen with what he hoped was contempt. "It's certainly a unique idea."
"I know, right? It's so obvious! I mean, it's Sunnydale, might as well cash in."
He thought of the latest employee evaluation. Looked at the numbers. And signed.
"You wanted to see me, Sir?"
The bank manager looked up. "Ah, Mr Savitsky, yes. About the, um… Summers loan. You not only denied her a loan after she tried to foil a robbery - "
"With all due respect, Sir, that was no ordinary robber."
" - your colleagues say you also implied that she ought to sell the house and leave town. That, Mr Savitsky, is not how we do business at this bank."
"I was trying - Did you see the security footage, Sir? Do you know what happens in this town?"
"Of course I do. People pay a higher interest rate than anywhere else in Southern California, making them profitable even in the short term, while also making us beneficiaries in their life insurance. As long as we sign them up, that is."
"Sign them up as WHAT? Monster food?"
The manager glanced at the clock; he always left at 4PM to drive back to his home in Pasadena. "Mr Savitsky, as you know, this is not the first such complaint we've had against you recently. I'd offer you a transfer to one of our other branches, but… I think it would be best if you took this opportunity to reflect and re-evaluate your career. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Carl sold the house once he got the new job in Sacramento. Couldn't afford not to. The family who moved in loved it; so good to get out of LA, raise the kids somewhere safe. What was he supposed to do?
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 08:19 pm (UTC)Pretty sure Mayor Wilkins didn't run that town for the demons alone...
no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:09 am (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2020-11-30 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 10:37 pm (UTC)Love the idea of LairBnB. And that he signed off on Alucard without noticing the anagram...
no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:16 am (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:17 am (UTC)Well, it's canon that Dracula is good at setting up real estate deals by correspondence. It's one of the few superpowers of his that wasn't touched upon in the actual episode, so I had to fix that. :)
no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-01 03:31 am (UTC)Also loved this: “ No, he had no idea how he'd managed to erect a castle on the plot within 24 hours.” HEEEEEE.
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Date: 2020-12-02 09:22 am (UTC)Turns out Dracula's three sisters all have centuries of experience in construction. Why did you think he hired Xander, of all people, as his minion?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-03 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 03:00 am (UTC)Buahahahaha!!!!
Anyway, this is a hilariously and adorable concept, nicely executed. :D
no subject
Date: 2020-12-02 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-04 10:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-04 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 06:50 pm (UTC)"The pay was better, he could afford a house within walking distance"
mwhahahaha
Oh my god, you are SO right, I suppose someone did have to deliver the newspaper to the honest-to-goodness Crawford street mansion. Giggles. Isn't Sunnydale great?
The Bronze. :))) Yes good.
"No, he had no idea how he'd managed to erect a castle on the plot within 24 hours."
XD
""So... your business plan is to buy and rent out mausoleums as short-term dwellings."
Wow.
LAIRBNB
!!!
"People pay a higher interest rate than anywhere else in Southern California, making them profitable even in the short term, while also making us beneficiaries in their life insurance."
*head tilt* Fascinating.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 09:10 pm (UTC)Oh my god, you are SO right, I suppose someone did have to deliver the newspaper to the honest-to-goodness Crawford street mansion. Giggles. Isn't Sunnydale great?
I mean, there's that scene in "Becoming" of Spike reading the morning paper and I had to wonder - he couldn't very well go out and buy it, someone had to deliver it.
And you know that any time a city is as messed up as Sunnydale, someone without scruples is making a ton of money.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-23 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-30 03:44 pm (UTC)