Buffy talks about the Giant Dawn thing
Dec. 27th, 2008 03:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beer_good_foamyOne of the things that have been nagging me about the Kafka!Dawn storyline is that, well, I just don't see how it could ever happen. Not the being cursed bit, but how it could progress to the point where it's at in #1 and continues to be at, unchanged, in #20 when there seems to be a very obvious solution staring everyone in the face. I actually tried to write serious Season 8 fic about Buffy and Dawn, and as with all fic, my approach was pretty simple: start out with a basic premise and then ask myself "What would character X do?" In this case, the character was Buffy. And the Buffy in my head, the one I write in fic, the one I'd like to think is at least loosely based on how she was presented in canon, refused to play along with the plot.
Since the subject keeps coming up, just for kicks, I thought I'd write down the conversation I kept having with her whenever I tried to make her follow the Season 8 story. (Check the tag for previous character interviews.)
Opening credits: "Mystery" by Hugh Laurie
BEER GOOD: So, right, Buffy, welcome back to the show.
BUFFY SUMMERS: Thanks. *glances at watch* Can we make this quick?
BG: Sure, we'll get right to the subject at hand. Your sister has been turned into a giant and later a centaur, and you suspect her boyfriend Kenny, a thricewise, had something to do with it. Now you're stuck with a miserable giant hanging around the house all the time. How do you deal with this? A) blame Dawn, B) brood on your balcony, C) ignore -
BS: I'm thinking a quick trip to Berkley.
BG: *frowns* Wait, that's not one of the options I have here.
BS: You know, "Ding dong. Hi, Kenny. Look, you know who I am and what I can do, and I really don't have time for teenage melodrama right now, so what do you say you break the curse you put on my sister and maybe that's all that gets broken tonight?"
BG: Um... *checks comics* That's not what you've done, though. So far, at least.
BS: It isn't? Why not?
BG: I don't know, I'm not... Wonder Woman! Point is... well, I guess "why not" is the point.
BS: Beats me. Does Dawn like being a giant centaur?
BG: Apparently, she hates it.
BS: Do I like her being a giant centaur?
BG: Apart from the jokes, no. You're mostly annoyed by it.
BS: "Annoyed"? My sister gets cursed and turned into a monster, and I'm just annoyed?
BG: Yeah.
BS: Whatever. Is it wearing off?
BG: Not as far as you know. And Willow can't seem to fix it either.
BS: So if I know who's behind it, why wouldn't I do something about it? That's just silly.
BG: I dunno... what if you're wrong? Maybe Kenny had nothing to do with it?
BS: *checks comics, frowns* Nope, says here I still think it's his fault. Huh. That would mean I haven't even talked to him, which makes zero sense. She slept with this guy?
BG: Actually, no.
BS: Then yay Dawn for at least being smart enough not to sleep with an abusive psycho who uses magic to get back at women who don't do what he wants. He's what we in the business call "the bad guy," and I gotta say – urge to beat him up? Not fading. I'm pretty sure there were a couple of episodes where I dealt with exactly that sort of stuff back in can-
BG: Ssssh. We don't use the "C" word.
BS: Sorry. So why am I not beating him up again?
BG: Maybe you can't find him?
BS: *checks comics* Says nothing here about him being missing or us looking for him. And anyway, Willow can find just about anything. Oh, did I tell you that she found Mr Gordo? And he was supposed to be at the bottom of the Sunnydale crater, but -
BG: Back on topic, maybe you couldn't get to California?
BS: Hey look, I have a castle. I have jets and helicopters. I'm pretty much stinking rich.
BG: I noticed.
BS: Hey! That's just... uh... do you know how hard it is to get sweat out of Kevlar? I dropped by my Rome double's apartment ONCE, and apparently her place still smells like me...
BG: I'm sure it does. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean. Say no more.
BS: *rolls eyes* Fanboys. Anyway, I've got money, I've got shiny shiny planes, and I'm best friends with a witch who can... *checks comics* ...fly? Cool. So if I want to get to California for a few hours, trust me, I don't have to fly coach.
BG: But still... maybe you were busy saving the world from some demon just then?
BS: Just when? Just every single day in all the months I've had a giant centaur moping around the castle? I haven't had 24 hours to spare to help my own sister?
BG: Uh... yes?
BS: You have got to be kidding. I thought I was in charge here?
BG: ...Let's talk hypothetically?
BS: OK, fine... Well, in that case I guess I'd send a squad of Slayers to Kenny's place and have them beat him up until he reverses the spell.
BG: D'oh!
BS: That's not in the comics either, huh?
BG: No. But maybe you don't have any Slayers available to -
BS: Seriously, if there's one place in the world I don't have a Slayer shortage, it's California. You should see the transfer applications. I keep telling them about hellmouths and earthquakes and entire cities getting sent to Hell, and all they seem to hear is "Bla bla beaches bla bla sun bla bla moviestars." I'm stuck here in Scotland, but...
BG: Yeah, why is that?
BS: I... *checks comics* uh... I don't know. But point is, he's a thricewise, and... what is that, by the way?
BG: No idea whatsoever.
BS: Huh. Well anyway, if he's putting curses on teenage girls, I'm pretty sure he falls under my jurisdiction. Besides, it's not like I'd kill him or anything. Oooh, remember that time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Warren up? And that time I beat up that jerk from the swim team? And that other time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Tucker Wells up? And that time I beat up the whole Trio? And that third time I -
BG: Wait a second, we're dealing with sensitive matters of magic abuse, first relationships, heartbreak, emotions, gender relations, and all that messy stuff. You're saying that your solution to this highly complex issue would be... violence?
BS: Hi, I'm Buffy, have we met?
BG: But Dawn's an adult now. Surely she needs to deal with her own problems without her sister acting like some sort of... control freak and telling her how to live her life?
BS: Buf-fy. Slayer, comma, the.
BG: Right. Well, then I guess I'm stumped. Unless... well... *cringes*
BS: Unless what?
BG: Well, there's this line here...
DAWN: … because you act like it’s my fault.
BUFFY: You were dating a thricewise.
BG: ...Which, um, I'm not saying it is, but it sounds a tiny little bit like you're thinking she had this coming for dating a thricewise, that it's all her fault, and that you're not helping her because you think she... well, deserves it. Please don't hit me.
BS: *glares* "Deserves"?
BG: Yeah. I mean, in the show they used this sort of thing all the time as a metaphor for men exercising their power over women, spousal abuse, rape... Y'know, it's kind of like how you deserved what you got for sleeping with Angel, or the ballerina in "Waiting in the Wings" deserved what she got for cheating on her boss, or Katrina deserved what she got for dumping Warren, or...
BS: Hello? Not Cousin Beth here. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the sort of thing I was created to deal with.
BG: You're right, of course. Can't be that, then.
BS: Are we about done here? I'm kinda busy.
BG: Uh... sure. Those banks aren't going to rob themselves, eh?
BS: WHAT?!?
End credits: "Bad Boys Get Spanked" by The Pretenders
Since the subject keeps coming up, just for kicks, I thought I'd write down the conversation I kept having with her whenever I tried to make her follow the Season 8 story. (Check the tag for previous character interviews.)
Opening credits: "Mystery" by Hugh Laurie
BEER GOOD: So, right, Buffy, welcome back to the show.
BUFFY SUMMERS: Thanks. *glances at watch* Can we make this quick?
BG: Sure, we'll get right to the subject at hand. Your sister has been turned into a giant and later a centaur, and you suspect her boyfriend Kenny, a thricewise, had something to do with it. Now you're stuck with a miserable giant hanging around the house all the time. How do you deal with this? A) blame Dawn, B) brood on your balcony, C) ignore -
BS: I'm thinking a quick trip to Berkley.
BG: *frowns* Wait, that's not one of the options I have here.
BS: You know, "Ding dong. Hi, Kenny. Look, you know who I am and what I can do, and I really don't have time for teenage melodrama right now, so what do you say you break the curse you put on my sister and maybe that's all that gets broken tonight?"
BG: Um... *checks comics* That's not what you've done, though. So far, at least.
BS: It isn't? Why not?
BG: I don't know, I'm not... Wonder Woman! Point is... well, I guess "why not" is the point.
BS: Beats me. Does Dawn like being a giant centaur?
BG: Apparently, she hates it.
BS: Do I like her being a giant centaur?
BG: Apart from the jokes, no. You're mostly annoyed by it.
BS: "Annoyed"? My sister gets cursed and turned into a monster, and I'm just annoyed?
BG: Yeah.
BS: Whatever. Is it wearing off?
BG: Not as far as you know. And Willow can't seem to fix it either.
BS: So if I know who's behind it, why wouldn't I do something about it? That's just silly.
BG: I dunno... what if you're wrong? Maybe Kenny had nothing to do with it?
BS: *checks comics, frowns* Nope, says here I still think it's his fault. Huh. That would mean I haven't even talked to him, which makes zero sense. She slept with this guy?
BG: Actually, no.
BS: Then yay Dawn for at least being smart enough not to sleep with an abusive psycho who uses magic to get back at women who don't do what he wants. He's what we in the business call "the bad guy," and I gotta say – urge to beat him up? Not fading. I'm pretty sure there were a couple of episodes where I dealt with exactly that sort of stuff back in can-
BG: Ssssh. We don't use the "C" word.
BS: Sorry. So why am I not beating him up again?
BG: Maybe you can't find him?
BS: *checks comics* Says nothing here about him being missing or us looking for him. And anyway, Willow can find just about anything. Oh, did I tell you that she found Mr Gordo? And he was supposed to be at the bottom of the Sunnydale crater, but -
BG: Back on topic, maybe you couldn't get to California?
BS: Hey look, I have a castle. I have jets and helicopters. I'm pretty much stinking rich.
BG: I noticed.
BS: Hey! That's just... uh... do you know how hard it is to get sweat out of Kevlar? I dropped by my Rome double's apartment ONCE, and apparently her place still smells like me...
BG: I'm sure it does. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean. Say no more.
BS: *rolls eyes* Fanboys. Anyway, I've got money, I've got shiny shiny planes, and I'm best friends with a witch who can... *checks comics* ...fly? Cool. So if I want to get to California for a few hours, trust me, I don't have to fly coach.
BG: But still... maybe you were busy saving the world from some demon just then?
BS: Just when? Just every single day in all the months I've had a giant centaur moping around the castle? I haven't had 24 hours to spare to help my own sister?
BG: Uh... yes?
BS: You have got to be kidding. I thought I was in charge here?
BG: ...Let's talk hypothetically?
BS: OK, fine... Well, in that case I guess I'd send a squad of Slayers to Kenny's place and have them beat him up until he reverses the spell.
BG: D'oh!
BS: That's not in the comics either, huh?
BG: No. But maybe you don't have any Slayers available to -
BS: Seriously, if there's one place in the world I don't have a Slayer shortage, it's California. You should see the transfer applications. I keep telling them about hellmouths and earthquakes and entire cities getting sent to Hell, and all they seem to hear is "Bla bla beaches bla bla sun bla bla moviestars." I'm stuck here in Scotland, but...
BG: Yeah, why is that?
BS: I... *checks comics* uh... I don't know. But point is, he's a thricewise, and... what is that, by the way?
BG: No idea whatsoever.
BS: Huh. Well anyway, if he's putting curses on teenage girls, I'm pretty sure he falls under my jurisdiction. Besides, it's not like I'd kill him or anything. Oooh, remember that time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Warren up? And that time I beat up that jerk from the swim team? And that other time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Tucker Wells up? And that time I beat up the whole Trio? And that third time I -
BG: Wait a second, we're dealing with sensitive matters of magic abuse, first relationships, heartbreak, emotions, gender relations, and all that messy stuff. You're saying that your solution to this highly complex issue would be... violence?
BS: Hi, I'm Buffy, have we met?
BG: But Dawn's an adult now. Surely she needs to deal with her own problems without her sister acting like some sort of... control freak and telling her how to live her life?
BS: Buf-fy. Slayer, comma, the.
BG: Right. Well, then I guess I'm stumped. Unless... well... *cringes*
BS: Unless what?
BG: Well, there's this line here...
DAWN: … because you act like it’s my fault.
BUFFY: You were dating a thricewise.
BG: ...Which, um, I'm not saying it is, but it sounds a tiny little bit like you're thinking she had this coming for dating a thricewise, that it's all her fault, and that you're not helping her because you think she... well, deserves it. Please don't hit me.
BS: *glares* "Deserves"?
BG: Yeah. I mean, in the show they used this sort of thing all the time as a metaphor for men exercising their power over women, spousal abuse, rape... Y'know, it's kind of like how you deserved what you got for sleeping with Angel, or the ballerina in "Waiting in the Wings" deserved what she got for cheating on her boss, or Katrina deserved what she got for dumping Warren, or...
BS: Hello? Not Cousin Beth here. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the sort of thing I was created to deal with.
BG: You're right, of course. Can't be that, then.
BS: Are we about done here? I'm kinda busy.
BG: Uh... sure. Those banks aren't going to rob themselves, eh?
BS: WHAT?!?
End credits: "Bad Boys Get Spanked" by The Pretenders
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no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 02:37 pm (UTC)BS: *glares* "Deserves"?
BG: Yeah. I mean, in the show they used this sort of thing all the time as a metaphor for men exercising their power over women, spousal abuse, rape... Y'know, it's kind of like how you deserved what you got for sleeping with Angel, or the ballerina in "Waiting in the Wings" deserved what she got for cheating on her boss, or Katrina deserved what she got for dumping Warren, or...
BS: Hello? Not Cousin Beth here. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the sort of thing I was created to deal with.
BG: You're right, of course. Can't be that, then.
Made of win right there. I will ALWAYS love your comics snark. And I can see SMG/Buffy's face through all of that.
Yes Buffy gets annoyed at her sister (and often with good reason) but this is also the sister she DIED to protect (also, hello, world-saveage.)
I've read that Joss loved the giant Dawn storyline. Ok, metaphor but WHY isn't Buffy doing anything but blame her sister? The misogyny here stinks worse than a used Kevlar vest.
And if they had written the same stories with new characters - another Slayer has taken over the organization, etc etc - you'd still have the misogyny, the confusing storylines and lack of clarity (I guess) but there wouldn't be the "what the hell is Joss doing to characters we knew and loved and why is Buffy acting this way?" Element (aka "My theory that Joss hates Buffy now and is just wringing her dry for the paychecks.")
BS: Hi, I'm Buffy, have we met?
BG: But Dawn's an adult now. Surely she needs to deal with her own problems without her sister acting like some sort of... control freak and telling her how to live her life?
BS: Buf-fy. Slayer, comma, the.
And now I'm flashing back happily to the mirror scene in Who's That Girl (one of my favorite eps.)
no subject
Date: 2012-09-20 08:15 am (UTC)I've read that Joss loved the giant Dawn storyline. Ok, metaphor but WHY isn't Buffy doing anything but blame her sister? The misogyny here stinks worse than a used Kevlar vest.
Especially after the end to that story (this was written way before that)
a) revealed that it really was just as simple as I suggested above,
b) was based entirely on the assumption that everyone would sympathize with Kenny,
c) had Dawn giving a big "You know, I learned something today" speech about how she had it coming for pissing off her boyfriend, and Buffy agreeing with her.
Sheeesh.
And now I'm flashing back happily to the mirror scene in Who's That Girl (one of my favorite eps.)
Mine too. Of course, that means Buffy's quoting Faith here, but I can live with that. :)
no subject
Date: 2012-09-21 06:07 pm (UTC)had Dawn giving a big "You know, I learned something today" speech about how she had it coming for pissing off her boyfriend, and Buffy agreeing with her.
Utterly loathsome.
Of course, that means Buffy's quoting Faith here, but I can live with that. :)
I can too - especially since SMG says the line on the show.
I had wondered where the line "Slayer, comma, the." came from (I know that's the subtitle of gabrielleabelle's LJ, but couldn't remember it from the show) and then I rewatched Doomed today and realized that was it (she's saying it to Riley; and is surprised he doesn't know about her. Buffy usually doesn't seek attention or acclaim for it's own sake, but here she seems a bit like a movie star in an elevator with someone who has no idea how important she is.)