Buffy talks about the Giant Dawn thing

[beer_good_foamy]

One of the things that have been nagging me about the Kafka!Dawn storyline is that, well, I just don't see how it could ever happen. Not the being cursed bit, but how it could progress to the point where it's at in #1 and continues to be at, unchanged, in #20 when there seems to be a very obvious solution staring everyone in the face. I actually tried to write serious Season 8 fic about Buffy and Dawn, and as with all fic, my approach was pretty simple: start out with a basic premise and then ask myself "What would character X do?" In this case, the character was Buffy. And the Buffy in my head, the one I write in fic, the one I'd like to think is at least loosely based on how she was presented in canon, refused to play along with the plot.

Since the subject keeps coming up, just for kicks, I thought I'd write down the conversation I kept having with her whenever I tried to make her follow the Season 8 story. (Check the tag for previous character interviews.)

Opening credits: "Mystery" by Hugh Laurie

BEER GOOD: So, right, Buffy, welcome back to the show.

BUFFY SUMMERS: Thanks. *glances at watch* Can we make this quick?

BG: Sure, we'll get right to the subject at hand. Your sister has been turned into a giant and later a centaur, and you suspect her boyfriend Kenny, a thricewise, had something to do with it. Now you're stuck with a miserable giant hanging around the house all the time. How do you deal with this? A) blame Dawn, B) brood on your balcony, C) ignore -

BS: I'm thinking a quick trip to Berkley.

BG: *frowns* Wait, that's not one of the options I have here.

BS: You know, "Ding dong. Hi, Kenny. Look, you know who I am and what I can do, and I really don't have time for teenage melodrama right now, so what do you say you break the curse you put on my sister and maybe that's all that gets broken tonight?"

BG: Um... *checks comics* That's not what you've done, though. So far, at least.

BS: It isn't? Why not?

BG: I don't know, I'm not... Wonder Woman! Point is... well, I guess "why not" is the point.

BS: Beats me. Does Dawn like being a giant centaur?

BG: Apparently, she hates it.

BS: Do I like her being a giant centaur?

BG: Apart from the jokes, no. You're mostly annoyed by it.

BS: "Annoyed"? My sister gets cursed and turned into a monster, and I'm just annoyed?

BG: Yeah.

BS: Whatever. Is it wearing off?

BG: Not as far as you know. And Willow can't seem to fix it either.

BS: So if I know who's behind it, why wouldn't I do something about it? That's just silly.

BG: I dunno... what if you're wrong? Maybe Kenny had nothing to do with it?

BS: *checks comics, frowns* Nope, says here I still think it's his fault. Huh. That would mean I haven't even talked to him, which makes zero sense. She slept with this guy?

BG: Actually, no.

BS: Then yay Dawn for at least being smart enough not to sleep with an abusive psycho who uses magic to get back at women who don't do what he wants. He's what we in the business call "the bad guy," and I gotta say – urge to beat him up? Not fading. I'm pretty sure there were a couple of episodes where I dealt with exactly that sort of stuff back in can-

BG: Ssssh. We don't use the "C" word.

BS: Sorry. So why am I not beating him up again?

BG: Maybe you can't find him?

BS: *checks comics* Says nothing here about him being missing or us looking for him. And anyway, Willow can find just about anything. Oh, did I tell you that she found Mr Gordo? And he was supposed to be at the bottom of the Sunnydale crater, but -

BG: Back on topic, maybe you couldn't get to California?

BS: Hey look, I have a castle. I have jets and helicopters. I'm pretty much stinking rich.

BG: I noticed.

BS: Hey! That's just... uh... do you know how hard it is to get sweat out of Kevlar? I dropped by my Rome double's apartment ONCE, and apparently her place still smells like me...

BG: I'm sure it does. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean. Say no more.

BS: *rolls eyes* Fanboys. Anyway, I've got money, I've got shiny shiny planes, and I'm best friends with a witch who can... *checks comics* ...fly? Cool. So if I want to get to California for a few hours, trust me, I don't have to fly coach.

BG: But still... maybe you were busy saving the world from some demon just then?

BS: Just when? Just every single day in all the months I've had a giant centaur moping around the castle? I haven't had 24 hours to spare to help my own sister?

BG: Uh... yes?

BS: You have got to be kidding. I thought I was in charge here?

BG: ...Let's talk hypothetically?

BS: OK, fine... Well, in that case I guess I'd send a squad of Slayers to Kenny's place and have them beat him up until he reverses the spell.

BG: D'oh!

BS: That's not in the comics either, huh?

BG: No. But maybe you don't have any Slayers available to -

BS: Seriously, if there's one place in the world I don't have a Slayer shortage, it's California. You should see the transfer applications. I keep telling them about hellmouths and earthquakes and entire cities getting sent to Hell, and all they seem to hear is "Bla bla beaches bla bla sun bla bla moviestars." I'm stuck here in Scotland, but...

BG: Yeah, why is that?

BS: I... *checks comics* uh... I don't know. But point is, he's a thricewise, and... what is that, by the way?

BG: No idea whatsoever.

BS: Huh. Well anyway, if he's putting curses on teenage girls, I'm pretty sure he falls under my jurisdiction. Besides, it's not like I'd kill him or anything. Oooh, remember that time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Warren up? And that time I beat up that jerk from the swim team? And that other time I beat Ethan Rayne up? And that time I beat Tucker Wells up? And that time I beat up the whole Trio? And that third time I -

BG: Wait a second, we're dealing with sensitive matters of magic abuse, first relationships, heartbreak, emotions, gender relations, and all that messy stuff. You're saying that your solution to this highly complex issue would be... violence?

BS: Hi, I'm Buffy, have we met?

BG: But Dawn's an adult now. Surely she needs to deal with her own problems without her sister acting like some sort of... control freak and telling her how to live her life?

BS: Buf-fy. Slayer, comma, the.

BG: Right. Well, then I guess I'm stumped. Unless... well... *cringes*

BS: Unless what?

BG: Well, there's this line here...

DAWN: … because you act like it’s my fault.

BUFFY: You were dating a thricewise.

BG: ...Which, um, I'm not saying it is, but it sounds a tiny little bit like you're thinking she had this coming for dating a thricewise, that it's all her fault, and that you're not helping her because you think she... well, deserves it. Please don't hit me.

BS: *glares* "Deserves"?

BG: Yeah. I mean, in the show they used this sort of thing all the time as a metaphor for men exercising their power over women, spousal abuse, rape... Y'know, it's kind of like how you deserved what you got for sleeping with Angel, or the ballerina in "Waiting in the Wings" deserved what she got for cheating on her boss, or Katrina deserved what she got for dumping Warren, or...

BS: Hello? Not Cousin Beth here. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the sort of thing I was created to deal with.

BG: You're right, of course. Can't be that, then.

BS: Are we about done here? I'm kinda busy.

BG: Uh... sure. Those banks aren't going to rob themselves, eh?

BS: WHAT?!?

End credits: "Bad Boys Get Spanked" by The Pretenders

Comments

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

they didn’t know Kenny done it.

Buffy sure seems pretty convinced he had something to do with it; she specifically connects Dawn being a giant to Dawn sleeping with Kenny. She doesn't know for sure, no, but that should be all the more reason for her to investigate the matter.

With Ted I think they should have given Joyce all the information (he was a cookie drugging robot) and let her choose. Similarly blinvisible Buffy.

Right. So let's have the scoobies share the information they have on Dawn (such as what she told Xander in #10), find out all the facts, and give her a choice.

Because from all the exposition we’ve been given in the comics Kenny isn’t the root of the problem or the key to solving it.

By established Buffyverse logic, the person who put the curse on Dawn is the root of the problem and the key to solving it - like Ethan Rayne was in "Halloween", like Anyanka was in "The Wish", like Count Kurskov was in "Waiting in the Wings", like in every single episode ever where something like this happened (and there's a lot of them). As far as they know, the most likely candidate is Kenny. If it's not him, they should at least find out that it's not him.

Buffy wants her to be, in the past to the point of chloroforming and kidnapping her but things seem to have improved from that nadir.

Yup. Maybe someday Buffy will improve to the point where she doesn't care at all if people get in supernatural trouble... oh, wait.

Does Dawn really value normal uber alles?

Throughout Buffy and Angel, it was always portrayed as something negative for a human to be turned into a non-human. There may have been positive side-effects, but it was not a good thing in and of itself - and even the positive side-effects often turned out to be negative in the long run (Buffy relished her ability to read minds at first). Hell, Joss even refers to Dawn's condition as a "mystical STD", which doesn't make it sound any more awesome. And Dawn is saying she's miserable; she's dealing with it (now, 20 issues later - like I said above, I don't see why they didn't do this immediately when she really was truly miserable) because she has no other choice, but she's explicitly telling everyone else she doesn't want to be a giant or a centaur. They don't want her to be one either. They think they know who's behind it. Why is that such an impossible equuation? Why not help Dawn?

[aycheb.livejournal.com]

Buffy sure seems pretty convinced he had something to do with it

But she seems even more convinced that the underlying problem is that she and Dawn can’t talk about it.


By established Buffyverse logic, the person who put the curse on Dawn is the root of the problem and the key to solving it

But not in cases where the ‘victim’ is also part of the problem. Knowing that Amy changed herself into a rat didn’t help Willow de-rat her and the gypsies don’t seem able take the happiness clause out of Angel’s curse. Kennedy confronting Amy just made things worse by putting her in Willow’s firing line. Kenny’s spell seems all too like that penance malediction and if it is the cure can only happen when Dawn stops cursing herself for what she did.

Why not help Dawn?
If help means going Cosa Nostra on her ex it doesn’t seem that Dawn wants to be helped.


I don't see why they didn't do this immediately when she really was truly miserable) because she has no other choice, but she's explicitly telling everyone else she doesn't want to be a giant or a centaur.

Because Dawn wasn’t telling them what they needed to know to unembiggen her and that in itself is the clearest possible sign that being biggened wasn’t what was really making her miserable. She’s snarking about the downsides of being what she currently is but she’s never said what she wants to be and I think that might be key. What does Dawn want not what does Buffyverse convention dictate?

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

But she seems even more convinced that the underlying problem is that she and Dawn can’t talk about it.

Which goes to show how solipsistic Buffy's becoming. The causal relationship "Kenny turns Dawn into a monster" has nothing to do with Buffy; she has no influence on what HAS happened. She does have the possibility to make something ELSE happen, though, and she doesn't.

Kenny’s spell seems all too like that penance malediction and if it is the cure can only happen when Dawn stops cursing herself for what she did.

And if they'd actually asked Kenny about it, maybe we'd know if that were indeed the case. As it is, it's pure speculation which could easily be checked.

If help means going Cosa Nostra on her ex it doesn’t seem that Dawn wants to be helped.

Because in the Buffyverse, beating up the bad guy never solves anything. (OK, it's not usually that simple, but there's a reason SMG had a fight coach and stunt doubles, remember?) And again, if you notice, I never suggested beating him up as an end in itself; the point isn't to punish Kenny (though I wouldn't complain, and I get the feeling Buffy or Xander wouldn't either), it's is to find out what (if anything) he did to Dawn and how to reverse it. They did that exact thing with every single MOTW back in canon. Why not now? If it turns out he can't reverse it even if he wants to, fine; why won't they at least check the possibility?

She’s snarking about the downsides of being what she currently is but she’s never said what she wants to be

If she's turned from a girl into a giant, and wants to stop being a giant, might what she wants to be returned to possibly, conceivably, outside chance, be... a girl?

[aycheb.livejournal.com]

Because in the Buffyverse, beating up the bad guy never solves anything.
If the bad guy trying to destroy the world or eat people but in this situation its very unclear that Kenny is the bad guy. I'm thinking back to when Buffy took out that vamp whorehouse when the real problem was Riley. Or even when she went after faith for shooting her boyfriend. Mixing personal and Slayer business is bad business and this is Dawn's personal business not hers.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

in this situation its very unclear that Kenny is the bad guy

Only because nobody has bothered to even check. Everyone seems to take for granted that he is, though. (Hey, why isn't this horse moving anymore when I beat it?) ;-)

this is Dawn's personal business not hers

That would make sense if canonically, Buffy were less motivated to intervene when people she loved were in danger (not just mortal danger). But I guess we'll just have to accept that that Buffy is dead and gone.