We lost a lot of great musicians over the last few years. That's the way the world goes. We hurt, we pay tribute, we make do with the records.

One of the ones we lost was Joni Mitchell. After she all but retired in 2002 she suffered an aneurysm in 2015, hovered between life and death for some time, and was left alive but unable to speak, let alone sing. The obituaries were written, ready to print, and then filed away for easy access at any time. It's not like they'd need to be updated.

Last night at Newport Folk Festival, this happened. The thing that never happens. If perhaps only for this one night, we got one back.

I've been crying about this all day. This isn't supposed to happen. We're only supposed to get so many go-rounds.

Joni, you're a miracle. But then I always thought so.

Anyway, hope everyone's summer is going well.

It's More Joy Day! Also, it's Friday! So this is a very silly fic of an idea that may have deserved a more serious treatment but… eh. Here's hoping someone finds it fun.

Title: Eat the Rich
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy
Characters/Pairing: Buffy, Andrew
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~650
Summary: How Buffy blew up the Mayor twice and made a million dollars.



( Hello, gentle listeners, and welcome to SlayerPod. Today we have with us Buffy Summers, Slayer of the Vampyres. )

So, 2020. How to sum it up.

We're gonna have to retire the expression "avoid it like the plague" because it turns out humans do not do that

— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) June 12, 2020

I somehow managed to get some fandom-related things written, at least.

Fic
Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years? (BtVS, Willow/Tara)
The ritual to raise Buffy called on Osiris, ancient god of resurrection and also the judge of the dead. Since that time, Willow keeps seeing a man in the corner of her eye; tall, dark and handsome with a goatee, and followed by a snake not unlike the one that materialized in the ritual...
Dreamwidth
AO3

First Time For Anywhere (20 different Buffyverse crossovers: Monty Python's Flying Circus, Frozen, Rick & Morty, Planet Earth, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Jeeves & Wooster, West Wing, Wynonna Earp, Calvin & Hobbes, Orphan Black, Terminator, Dracula 2020, Brooklyn 99, Macbeth, Doctor Who, The Muppet Show, Good Omens, The Good Place, Untitled Goose Game, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker)
Write 20 crossover drabbles of Buffyverse characters doing something for the first time, they said. It'll be easy, they said. In no way will it lead to some very weird fandom collisions, they said, with a slight quiver of the lip.  
Dreamwidth
AO3

3 Sentence Ficathon Fills (Jessica Jones, BtVS, Welcome To Night Vale, Black Books/Good Omens, Knives Out, Doctor Who/H2G2, Gideon the Ninth, Person of Interest, Doomsday Book/Doctor Who)
My fills for last year's Three Sentence Ficathon. A new one is supposed to be coming up soon, I can't wait.
Dreamwidth
AO3

Twists And Turns (BtVS, Spike/Drusilla)
There are rules for how to fight the undead. Being magical (or worse, metaphorical) some of them are bound to work better than others. And sometimes, as Spike and Dru are about to learn the hard way, technological advances bring some of the old ones back into play.
Dreamwidth
AO3

Civilization (Angel, Darla/The Master)
In our reality, the Roanoke colony in Virginia disappeared mysteriously at some point between 1588 and 1590, and the first successful English colony in Virginia was only established in 1607. In the Buffyverse, that colony appears strangely well-established in 1609. There's an obvious explanation for this, that includes the girl who would become Darla.
Dreamwidth
AO3

Dental Plan! (BtVS, Buffy + Spike)
You know how all myths are true? Well, one legendary being is running around Sunnydale attacking vampires and leaving them... less than they were. You'd think this would be more helpful than it is. But Spike isn't too keen to be a part of it, and this town may not be big enough for two vampire hunters.  
Dreamwidth
AO3

Player Piano (BtVS, Dawn)
When Dawn was six years old, her dad got her a music box. No biggie, it's just a music box, just a childhood toy she's kept for all these years, a tune she occasionally hums. Just a small part of the pool of memories and quirks that make a person. And obviously she should have more important stuff on her mind after Sunnydale turned into a giant crater. So why does the world suddenly seem so quiet?
Dreamwidth
AO3

Five People Whose Loan Applications Were Approved At Sunnydale Securities Bank (And One Whose Wasn't) (BtVS)
So how does Sunnydale… work, exactly? Well, it's a long and complex story of corruption and denial, but let's check in with one of the cogs that make the wheels spin. Remember the loan officer who turned Buffy down in "Flooded"...? Here's his Sunnydale story in six installments, occasionally interacting with the main storyline.
Dreamwidth
AO3

Christmas in Hell (Buffyverse, various)
Five times people spent Christmas in various Hells.
Dreamwidth
AO3

Meta
Best of the tens? Listing, ranking and discussing the best TV series of the 2010s.

And the meme on what I wrote:
Favorite work:
Probably Player Piano. I've written moody pieces about Dawn trying to figure out what it means to essentially be an in-story fictional character before and I'll hopefully do it again, but I like how the horror element worked for this.

Work I'm most proud of:
That I actually managed to write 20 crossover drabbles in 20 days. Especially with how fickle my muse has been for the last few years.

Most underappreciated work:
Civilization, for my money. Yes, it's probably one of those pre-canon fics that might be more of a research project than a writing project, but I always like to imagine how different history might be in the Buffyverse, and it's always fun to play with just how old some of these characters are; if Darla has literally seen the entirety of modern western history, let's use that a bit.

Most overappreciated work:
I'll gladly admit that not all of those 20 crossover drabbles are successful.

Favorite title:
Dental Plan! Yes, Simpsons references are so 1991, but...

Least favorite title:
Civilization is somehow both slightly pretentious and completely meaningless, title-wise.

Most unsuitable/funniest working title:
You'll get no extra points for guessing that Dental Plan! was originally titled Buffy vs The Tooth Fairy. 

Weirdest thing I researched for a writing project:
The average reward for a baby tooth placed under a pillow in the US in the late 1980s.

Project I had the most fun researching for:
Definitely Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years. I went hard on Egyptian mythology primers for a week there.

Project that was the most difficult to research:
Civilization wasn't really hard to research as such since it's all alternate history of an event that's mostly speculation to begin with, but it was hard to know how much to include in the fic itself, figure out what would be different if this is how it went, and to figure out a way to make it flow naturally. (Plus also, as in all good fanfic research projects, to decide just where to just make shit up.)

Project that was the most difficult to write:
Player Piano and Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years both went through a lot of different incarnations before they found their final form. I like to think it's the right ones.

Project that's been a WIP for ages:
The idea behind Civilization is one I've had for ages but kept chickening out on because I couldn't figure out a good way to write about pre-Darla Darla and not just have it come out "And that little girl grew up to be..."

Work I want to write one day, but haven't started:
The Spike/Boris Karloff Pratt family reunion thing. I said that a year ago too. Maybe this year?

Genre I wrote most often this year:
Drabble series, it turns out.

Genre I thought I'd never write, but did:
Writing quippy Buffyverse/Shakespeare dialogue in iambic pentameter in First Time For Anywhere was a new experience.

Perfect word and the context I used it in:
"Heads." See previous question.

Favorite opening line:
Reading them all back, I didn't really have any really good first-sentence hooks. But "The worst part, Angel thinks around the 23rd year or so of eternal torment, is that Hell is so... boring." sums up 2020 pretty nicely, I think.

Favorite ending line:
"She looks up at the cheap reading lamp in the motel room and switches it off; the second the current is broken, it ceases to be a lamp and the room goes completely dark."
Everyone who's read it seems to have a different interpretation of what happens here, and that's the way I likes it.

I like to post a holiday fic around this time of year, and that's one tradition 2020 will NOT make me break.

However, I can't guarantee that a bit of 2020 didn't sneak its way into the subtext of some of these. But hey, it's still not nearly the darkest holiday fic I've written, so... I hope it's still enjoyable.

Merry whatever, everyone. May the holidays of your choice be as peaceful and relaxing as circumstances allow, which I guess includes accepting that they are what they are.

Title: Christmas in Hell
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffyverse
Characters/Pairing: Angel, Skip, Vamp!Willow, Lindsey, Wesley/Lilah
Rating: PG13
Word count: 5x100
Summary: Five times people spent Christmas in various Hells.

Wherever Acathla's Vortex Leads To

The worst part, Angel thinks around the 23rd year or so of eternal torment, is that Hell is so... boring. Not that he'd do it better, that would be wrong, but at least Angelus spent centuries coming up with personal tortures for his victims. Take some pride in your work, damnit.

But Hell is just the same thing, for every sufferer, every day. Locked in a cave, boiled in urine, jabbed with pitchforks, ranted at by a large orange-ish devil, repeat ad nauseam with no personal touch.

OK, on Christmas they add some cinnamon-pumpkin spice to the urine. That's nice.


Powers-That-Be Holding Dimension #63

Skip has to give Billy a 15-minute break from the cage of fire every day. Union rules.

Most days, Billy just sits there keening in pain until Skip lights him up again. (They're not on small-talk basis, what with the torture and all.) Sometimes he pleads, or whines, or threatens, or just asks what day it is. One of those days just happens to be December 25th, so Billy begs him, just this once...

So as he fires up the cage again and Billy screams in silent agony, Skip sings in a mellow baritone. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."


Wishverse

Karen huffs as she lugs her Christmas shopping to the car. How dare they close the store at sundown, like the stupid curfew applied at Christmas? Good thing she found a manager who had them stay open for another 45 minutes.

She shoves her way past one of the teenagers loitering outside, a redhead in a leather outfit. Probably a Satan worshipper. Karen snaps "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" at her.

The redhead smiles in the most infuriating way… then grabs Karen by the throat and lifts her off the ground, scattering her shopping everywhere. "I know you meant to say Happy Holidays."


Wolfram & Hart Holding Dimension #13

Lindsey wakes up on Christmas Day, his wife and son next to him, surrounded by warmth and love. They open presents, go for a long walk in the snow, have a snowball fight, come home to a fantastic dinner.

He goes down in the basement to fetch the special gift he bought for his wife. The demon slams him onto the bench and cuts his heart out. He screams until his throat gives out.

His wife smiles and tells him she loves the earrings, and he almost believes her.

Wolfram & Hart run this script every day for a few months.


Hell

Hell likes irony. So Lilah's not surprised when they announce the Secret Satan gift (they like puns, too) is finding out someone you love is burning here too, and that it's your fault.

She shouldn't be happy that Wesley's here. But she's long since made peace with being the sort of person who would be.

Hell isn't lack of hope, it's isolation, literally being singled out. And knowing that someone else is going through it alongside you - if not technically with you, she thinks as they nod to each other across the howling abyss - makes it a little more bearable.

Here's a fic for this year's spook_me ficathon and also for... I think the "Inside Out" square on my buffyversebingo card.

Title: Player Piano
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, post-series
Characters/Pairing: Dawn
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1000
Summary: When Dawn was six years old, her dad got her a music box. No biggie, it's just a music box, just a childhood toy she's kept for all these years, a tune she occasionally hums. Just a small part of the pool of memories and quirks that make a person. And obviously she should have more important stuff on her mind after Sunnydale turned into a giant crater. So why does the world suddenly seem so quiet?

Written for spook_me, the prompt "evil toys" and this picture.

From the moment of my birth to the instant of my death
There are patterns I must follow just as I must breathe each breath
Like a rat in a maze the path before me lies
And the pattern never alters until the rat dies
- Paul Simon

( Dawn never actually had a sixth birthday. She's asked Dad in one of their increasingly rare phone calls if he remembers going there; he does. Czechoslovakia no longer exists. The airline went bankrupt in 1994. Apart from the music box there is no physical evidence that he ever went there. )

Continuing to fill my buffyversebingo card. I think I'll assign this one to "Skeletons in the closet".

Title: Dental Plan!
Author: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, roughly between s4 and s5
Characters/Pairing: Buffy, Spike
Rating: PG13
Word count: ~1500
Summary: You know how all myths are true? Well, one legendary being is running around Sunnydale attacking vampires and leaving them... less than they were. You'd think this would be more helpful than it is. But Spike isn't too keen to be a part of it, and this town may not be big enough for two vampire hunters.

( How the hell did William the Bloody come to this, he wondered, acting bait for some unknown beastie while the Slayer lay in ambush somewhere? OK, so maybe he was a little bit curious about what could be looking to make trophies of his teeth, but he was in no great hurry to be Fig. 1 in some future edition of Giles' daemonology books. )

These days, when everyone carries around a mobile film studio in their pocket, it's hard to remember how many great things happened relatively recently but were never caught on video.

Take Pink Floyd at their greatest, for instance. Apart from the official oddity Live At Pompeii there are the odd TV appearances, especially from the pre-Dark Side era, a scant few bootlegs of official but unreleased concert films, and bits and bobs of dark, fuzzy audience recordings using Super 8 and early camcorders, and... that's about it. A band that was always very visual, but almost none of it preserved for posterity until the post-Waters tours in the 80s and 90s finally saw some proper home video releases.

So this is something of a miracle: Someone sat down and put together what existing video footage there is of Pink Floyd performing Dark Side of the Moon back when it was brand new in 1972-74, creating almost a complete concert film.


Not the greatest quality, but damnit, it's Pink Floyd when they could still jam on stage, before they became locked in to performing to expectations and pre-recorded effects, performing possibly the greatest album of all time.

There is no dark side of the moon, really. Matter of fact it's all dark.

Aaaaand done! Thanks for sticking around through this. Hope people found something worth listening to over these 30 posts, and that I didn't annoy people looking for fandom stuff too much.

30. A song that reminds you of yourself
Courtney Barnett - Pedestrian At Best 

Courtney Barnett is easily one of the best new artists to come along in the last 10 years for me; the way her lyrics tumble out head-over-heels with enough humour to offset the self-doubt, half-spoken and half-yelled, all internal rhymes and angular contradictions out of meter... (As someone put it in the Youtube comments, "Why would she end the song on the line 'I'm a scorpio' when the whole thing is the most scorpio thing ever?") And I love the irony that she followed up her first few underground hits with a theme song about impostor syndrome and the fleetingness of hipster popularity that became her biggest hit to date, because somehow it's just a perfect little retro-grunge pop song that's so damn secure in its insecurities.
Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny

Getting towards the end...

28. A song by an artist whose voice you love
Angel Olsen - Shut Up Kiss Me

I have so many favourite singers with distinct voices, from bottomless marvels like Mahalia Jackson and Frank Sinatra to those who somehow make it work like Waits, Dylan and Nico... But let's go with a new(ish) favourite. Angel Olsen once said that anyone who can scream like a horror movie victim can sing; her voice somehow splits the difference between Patsy Cline and Björk, country-ish twangs that stretch into those diamond-sharp edges... 

Bonus, just because I can; during the lockdown she did a concert from her living room that included this gorgeously simple cover of "More Than This".